The Pee Pee Wee Gun
by Twizzle-fizz
Summary: Oh no! Eggman has created a gun which makes everyone go OOC! What he didn't count on is the fact that it also effected Shadow to! How will Sonic and Co. cope with the effects of this gun? How will Eggman cope with a moody teenager? Hilarity ensures!
1. Just Another Ordinary Day

**A/N: Well it's been a while but I've finally started writing my second story! A big thanks to everyone who reviewed my first and anyone who is kind enough to review this one! I am still wondering who this mysterious 'Starburst4106' person was that gave me an ultra awesome review in my last story! If you're reading this then you know who you are, and thanx! This story takes place on Earth, in the Sonic X universe.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story line and Eggmans awesome P.P.W.E. gun!**

**Just Another Ordinary Day**

"Mwa ha ha ha!" Eggman chuckled, using the very cliché evil villain laugh. He was riding in another one of his egg ship inventions; I believe this one was called 'The Egg-streme egg carrier'. He continued to laugh malevolently as he crashed egg shaped missiles into the many skyscrapers, fast food restaurants and public toilets that cluttered the busy city of Station Square. "Surrender now or say good bye to your beloved city!" The civilians were running around screaming, not because of Eggman's latest threat, this threat was now made on a weekly basis, and frankly they were used to it. Eggman would laugh, destroy half the neighbourhood then Sonic would come and save the day. So really, they had no reason to panic, well, except for the fact that the exploding skyscrapers were dropping heavy debris which could easily smush a person into the ground.

An ad for MoonCorp insurance company flashed up on one of the city's many electronic billboards. "MoonCorp wishes to remind our valued customers that we do not cover damage from alien invasions, attempts at world domination, or destruction due to disagreements between our valued customers and staff. Thank you for investing in MoonCorp, have a nice day." All the civilians who had invested in MoonCorp stopped to think.

"And, after I conquer this city, I will be able to conquer the world! Mwa ha ha ha!" Eggman chortled. Yep, this was definitely an attempt at world domination, all of MoonCorps valued customers started to panic like Eggman was actually going to succeed this time.

"Always one for attention, eh Egghead?" Sonic appeared in a heroic stance on top of the highest skyscraper, the sun was shining behind him, exemplifying his pure awesomeness. Tails, Amy and Cream flew in on the X-tornado with Knuckles and Rouge riding on the wings.

* * *

"I still don't understand why I couldn't ride on the right wing! I believe the saying is 'ladies first'. I should have had first preference!" Rouge was in the middle of the constant quarrel that her and Knuckles had had on the way over. Amy was grinding her teeth in annoyance, trying extremely hard not to burst out of the hatch in the plane and beat them both with her hammer.

"Why do you want the right wing so much anyway you batty jewel thief?" Knuckles retaliated.

"Because the wind is blowing from the right side and all your echidna stink is irritating my delicate nose!"

"MY STINK? Have you smelt yourself lately? For such a 'delicate lady' you sure emit a pretty putrid pong!"

"ARGGGGHHHHH! TAKE THAT BACK!" Rouge lost all sense of dignity and pounced on Knuckles from the other side of the plane, causing the whole aircraft to rock violently in the sky. Rouge snapped so unexpectantly that Knuckles was taken off guard and could only yell insults at her as she collided with him in a full force tackle.

"THAT'S IT!" Amy finally lost it and torpedoed out of the hatch in the roof, hammer raised and fire in her eyes, "I'VE HAD TO LISTEN TO YOU TWO THE WHOLE WAY HERE! ENOUGH! RAWR!"

"AMY!" Tails screeched, while desperately trying to regain control of the X-Tornado as it dangerously rocked from side to side in the sky"

* * *

Sonic and Eggman did not seem to notice the whole calamity; otherwise they were ignoring it, and continued to make snide remarks, and insults towards one another. "Aggh! Why does that brainless hedgehog always show up when I've almost taken over the town?" Eggman thrashed his fists down onto his control panel in frustration.

"Because if I came any earlier it would ruin the suspense!" Sonic smirked as he sped off to ensure Eggman's attempt at world domination remained an attempt and nothing more.

Eggman twiddled his moustache and grinned evilly. "I bet you where not expecting this hedgehog! Shadow! Destroy him" A black and red hedgehog emerged silently from the darkness where he had previously remained unnoticed.

"The more the merrier!" Sonic joked, "Now let's get this party started!" Although, Shadow was already one step ahead of him, and without a word he was charging at Sonic with a chaos spear in hand. Sonic dashed out of the way just in time and the chaos spear exploded half the neighbourhood. A few of MoonCorp's valued customers saw this and started crying.

While Sonic continued the epic skirmish with his dark look alike, the X-tornado had somehow managed to straighten up its flight path. The gang jumped off and got ready to fight. Eggman deployed an army of robots with goggles and moustaches, which he had so graciously named 'Eggbots'. The battle had begun. It looked to be a tough fight, but as always, everything was going to plan for the Sonic crew. The robots where depleting by the second with Knuckles smashing them, Tails shooting them, Amy hitting them, Rouge flirting with them, Knuckles angrily smashing the ones Rouge flirted with, and Cream doing degrading cheers which lowered the robots self-esteem and made them self-conscious.

"What are you doing E-13-620? Get back out there and FIGHT!" Eggman ordered.

"Is it true that these thrust compactors make me look fat? Because that's what that rabbit said!" The robot wailed in a monotone voice. Eggman sighed; he really needed to stop putting it those personality chips.

"The jokes up Eggman, so just give in while your moustache is still intact!" Sonic grinned as he stood on top of the large pile of destroyed robots, which was now so high it extended to the level of Eggman's flying ship. Shadow had chaos controlled onto the deck of the aircraft, obviously in defeat but showing no signs of admitting that fact.

"You think you've got me this time hedgehog, but I've still got one more trick up my sleeve!" Eggman sniggered, and then literally pulled out of his sleeve, the tiniest, little gun which would be no bigger than the palm of your hand.

"Awwwwwww! It's so cute!" Amy clasped her hands together and continued to coo at the miniature gun.

"It's not cute! This weapon is my greatest invention yet! Even I'm impressed with my own genius!" Eggman pouted. "It's called the Personality and Power, Wish for it Egg Gun! Or 'P.P.W.E. gun' for short. And it is INCREDIBLY evil! By no means...cute." Eggman raised his 'masterpiece' to the sky while holding a dramatic stance.

Everyone just stared and then cracked up laughing! "Ooooh! HAHAHA! Eggman's got a little 'Pee Pee Wee Gun' AHAHAHAHA! I'm s-so HAHAHA scared! Aha aha AHAHAHAHAHA!" Sonic started to roll around the ground in hysterics.

Tails was the second to actually recover enough from his laughing fit enough to talk. "Ahehehehe! What's it going to do? Cuteify us? HAHAHAhehe!" At this all the civilians stopped panicking and started to laugh.

"If that's what you WISH tails!" The egg shaped scientist growled, quite annoyed that his 'masterpiece' was not getting the respect it deserved.

"I'm not wishing! I'm just saying!...AHAHAHAHAHA!" The fox cub was now in tears.

"If that's what you SAY! This gun will turn you against yourself!" Eggman readied himself in a fighting stance and squished his large sausage shaped finger into the small gun's trigger space.

"Ooooh!-ooohohoho!...I guess I'd better stop him, hehehe!" Sonic then did a spin dash right at the world ruler wannabe and knocked the gun which was in the process of firing into the air. Eggman was blasted away into the distance, all the civilians cheered and rushed away to change their insurance company, and the gun...covered all the Sonic crew and Shadow in fairy dust.

* * *

"What? That's it? A few glitter sparkles? Hehehe...that gun was cuter than I thought!" Amy giggled and started to play with the glittery substance now covering her.

"I'm not sure if we should be touching this. It could be laden with toxins which could interrupt our molecular structure at an atomic level!" Tails cautioned, hurriedly brushing the sparkles off him.

"Um...Can you dumb yourself down for us?" Sonic said while throwing some sparkles at Amy.

"It could be dangerous"

"I doubt it!" Sonic laughed and carelessly chucked some sparkles over his shoulder.

"Whaa-haaa-haaaa!" Cream wailed, "You got some sparkles in my eye!"

"Oh, erm, sorry Cream." The blue hedgehog quickly apologised.

Shadow grunted in frustration, "Oh, toughen up!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

"Now look what you've done Shadow! Can you at least TRY to be a little more sensitive?" Amy growled in extreme annoyance and started to raise her hammer.

"Whoa Amy! Just chill!" Sonic said, stopping her just as she was about to swing. Amy could get a little carried away sometimes; taking her anger out on Eggman was one thing but 'the ultimate life form'...that could not end well.

"LET ME AT HIM! HE INSULTED CREAM!"

"Amypleasecalmdown!" Sonic blurted out, trying to stop her rampage.

"Slow down Sonic! Jeesh! I can't understand a word you're saying!" the pink hedgehog grumbled.

Shadow continue to look bored; "Don't think this is over faker!" He then Chaos controlled away.

* * *

"Weird, Amy is ACTUALLY angry at sonic" Knuckles stopped to observe the scene currently unfolding.

"Yeah, doesn't happen often, but I can guarantee it won't last more than a few minutes and it'll finish with a soppy 'I love you' from Amy. Then she'll start chasing Sonic around as usual" Rouge replied.

"Ha! By the sounds of it you're almost as annoying as her!" Knuckles chuckled unaware that Rouge found his comment highly offensive.

"Oh really! I'm like Amy am I? So you think I chase you around like a creepy stalker? DO YOU? Well at least I'm not weak like you! You took on the robots I'd already distracted! Talk about easy pickings!" Rouge huffed.

"WEAK? I'll have you know that wasn't the reason I attacked those robots! AND...why would you chase me around?" Knuckles questioned, as usual, he was very confused.

"I WOULDN'T BECAUSE YOU AIN'T WORTH THE TROUBLE!" Rouge practically screamed.

"...good!" The red guardian replied, unsure of what to say back to that comment.

"Oh no! Eggman said his gun would turn us against each other! Everyone back to my workshop! I have to have a full analysis of this!" Tails worriedly spoke, being careful not to use any 'big words'.

"Oh he's right sonniku! How could I have yelled at you! I LOVE YOU!" Amy screamed dramatically.

Sonic quietly started to sneak away, "I'll...Uh...meet you there Tails! BYE AMY!" He then sprinted off at sonic speed.

"Wait for me Sonic!" His pink lover sped after him.

"But you can't go! I have to analyse what effects this 'fairy dust' could have had on you! Everyone's acting weird!" Tails said with panic in his voice.

Rouge raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about? We always act like this."

The young fox sighed, "Well I guess I'll meet you guys back at my workshop. Get there quickly because who knows what horrors Eggman could have had sealed inside his gun which have now infected us!"

Knuckles poised to think, "...Maybe he had a fairy in that gun?" thinking was thankfully something Knuckles did not do often.

Rouge just looked at him with disbelief, "You're such an idiot!"

* * *

**A/N: Well if you got this far then I highly commend you! This is probably going to be the least funny chapter because it's just setting the scene, but if you liked it then you can say so by clicking that little blue word at the end of the page! Thanx for reading! ^^**


	2. What the Chilidog?

**A/N: O.k, first of all, aww man! I would have posted this chapter way sooner but whenever I tried I got this annoying error message…which I NOW know how to fix! YES! If anyone else is havin troubles updating then check out my profile! And second of all, wow! 12 reviews and almost 300 hits in just under a week! Now that's a record! Thanks everyone! O.k, this is the chapter when the madness starts, so if you're not a fan of a certain fox experiencing involuntary out of characterness, then I suggest you stop reading now...although it will be pretty funny XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Eggman's burger budget, mwa ha ha…oh, erm, which remind me! Eggman! We've had a complaint about your evil laugh!**

**Eggman: I was trying to be more cliché!**

**Me: Well quit it o.k? You're an individual! You don't need to sound like all those other boring villains!**

**Sonic: yeah you can just sound like Santa Clause instead!**

**Eggman: I'm gonna get that hedgehog! Oooh ho ho ho!**

**Me: that's the spirit!**

**What the Chilidog?**

Back at the Egglair, the defeated scientist was yet again wallowing in self pity after the all too familiar failure of trying to take over the world. He was currently salvaging the last useable scraps from the pile of destroyed robots so that he could rebuild them again in preparation for another yet to be known fail. He had just started to complain about the price his favourite hardware store had raised its products to when Shadow entered the room, no doubt to see if there was any more evil bidding that Eggman needed him to mindlessly do.

"Cursed scrap! I don't think anyone appreciates the effort I go to, to insure I have only the highest quality robots for Sonic to defeat! These titanium bolts aren't cheap you know! My burger budget has been cut in half!" the egg shaped man grumbled, "Oh!...err... Shadow! Next time knock before entering!"

"Is there anything I could do to get revenge on Sonic the hedgehog and his pathetic following?" Shadow said emotionlessly.

"Hmm...well now that you mention it- wait! Shadow you're covered in Pixie dust from my P.P.W.E. gun!" Eggman gasped in shock.

Shadow looked at his hands, they were covered in some strange glittery stuff; it looked as though he had been to an eight year olds fairy party. He groaned in disgust, this did nothing for his image. "I'll wash it off right away"

"You can't simply 'wash it off'! Do you even know what it is? It's pixie dust collected from my last...err...flawed design, the fairy bot! Which that no good hedgehog destroyed before it was even functional! But I collected the dust...ooh-Ho-Ho-Ho! Just wait till it takes effect!...You didn't..talk to anyone before you came here Shadow? Sonic say anything to you perhaps?"

"Why would I speak to anyone at all, let alone that blue faker?"

"Hmm...I guess you're right, well then there's nothing to be worried about! I'm sure that Sonic and his feeble friends were not so lucky! Ooh-HO-HO-HO!" Eggman cackled wildly, then stopped, waiting for Shadow to join in his random session of evil laughing, something that every good villain must do! Shadow simply glared and then huffed off, desperate to stop looking like a child's craft project.

Meanwhile, at Chris' mansion in Tails' workshop everyone was uncomfortably cramped in the small space while Tails tried to determine if there were any side effects of the 'glitter'. Chris was away with his parents for the weekend so they had the whole place to themselves, yet still the yellow cub insisted they cram into his lad for 'quarantine' for the rest of the day.

"It's like nothing I've seen before! The chemical composition is just mind boggling and the molecular structure of these isotopes is suggesting a complete reversal of the electron shell configuration as observed in the first twenty elements!" The fox had been babbling on like this for hours and everyone would have fallen asleep long ago if they weren't so cramped and uncomfortable.

"Move it Knucklehead you're in my personal space!" Rouge grumbled.

"You move it! I'm already squished up against Sonic's butt!" Knuckles winged.

"Well...if you _enjoy _leaning your head against my shoulder than I completely understand" Rouge cooed, taking the opportunity to yet again annoy the guardian, who was very protective of his pride.

"WHAT! N-no!" Knuckles blushed and sprung back, completely smushing Sonic in the process.

"Ahhhh! Get your butt of me Knuckles!" the blue hedgehog muffled from underneath and then did a spin dash which sent the echidna flying across the room.

"AHHHHHH!" Cream squealed as she met his back end. Knuckles slowly rolled off the now squished rabbit and bumped into Amy. Amy couldn't control her temper and bought out her hammer into a full swing. As she swung back though, it hit Cream's flying chao, and Cheese torpedoed smack bang into Rouge's face.

"Ahh! You'll smudge my mascara!" She yelled and threw Cheese in some random direction.

"CHEESE!" the bunny wined and sprinted after him, not looking where she was going, she accidently tripped and knocked over Tails' presentation table. Tails was about to yell as the table squashed his toe when Cheese hit him square in the face. This caused him to stumble back and knock into his computer, which in turn fell on top of Sonic, giving him a small electric shock. Knuckles started to laugh as the current going through the hedgehogs veins caused him to jiggle around. This made Amy extremely mad and she beat Knuckles to a pulp. This made Rouge laugh, so Knuckles crash tackled her and before you know it the room had turned into a full on brawl.

"Give up now, you're no match for me you stupid Knucklehead!"

"I'll teach you to laugh!"

"Everyone please stop fight-ahhh!" Cream attempted to keep the peace but was knocked over by Amy who was using her own method to 'keep the peace'.

"You two are so stubborn I'm going to knock some sense into you!"

"Knuckles, I'll show you what it feels like to be shocked with Tails' high tech, scientific, care bears screen saver computer!"

"Don't you dare shock Knuckles! This is between me and him!"

"Well it's between me too since you laughed at my Sonniku!"

"Amy! Jeesh, I can take care of myself!"

"Oh really? SO YOU DON'T NEED ME THEN! WHY DON'T YOU SAY THAT TO MY HAMMER!"

"Nooo! AHHHHH!"

"EVERYONE STOP RIGHT NOW!" Tails yelled at the top of his lungs and the room went deathly quiet. "I'm TRYING to give a presentation here and the least you can do is FOCUS! NOW THE NEXT PERSON TO MAKE SO MUCH AS A PEEP WILL BE SPENDING THEIR TIME CLEANING OUT THE FRIDGE! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?" The normally calm fox started to huff and puff with anger. Everyone nervously nodded, it was strange to see Tails like this...and scary. Also, everyone knew how disgusting the fridge was right now.

There was a long, drawn out silence and then a loud, booming voice echoed across the room. "Can you dumb yourself down for us?"

"ARGGGHHHHHH! SONIC! THAT'S THE LAST STRAW! The fridge...is WAITING!" Tails practically screamed, not bothering to even try to keep his composure.

Sonic gulped and looked at the fridge; a tentacle popped out and started wriggling around, so Amy quickly whacked it with her hammer, back inside its icy prison. "But I didn't say anything!"

"Well it sure SOUNDED a lot like your voice!" the fox replied in a teacher like manner.

"I said nothing! Honest! ...Actually...I think I said that very phrase yesterday...some must have recorded me! O.k., who's trying to get me in trouble?"

Tails didn't believe a word of it and started grinding his teeth in frustration.

"Oh no! He's gonna blow!" Sonic yelled and covered his ears in preparation for the ear bashing he was about to receive.

Tails opened his mouth, but what he said was something nobody expected...

"duuuuuuuuuuuh!"

Everyone just stared, they were all feeling as confused as Knuckles right now. "huh?"

"I like candy floss! Aha ha ha! Duuuuh-uuuuh? Let's play duck and goose! Ha ha! I'll be the duck! Goose, goose! Duh-duh-duuuuuuuuuuuh!"

Nobody had any idea if Tails was messing with them or he was actually stupid, so they said nothing.

Tails crossed his eyes and then uncrossed them. He found this entertaining so he kept doing it repetitively. "haha! Fuuuuuuuuzzy! Clear! Fuuuuuuuuuuuzzzy! Clear! Aha! Fuzzzzzzzzzzzzy...clear! ahahaha! Oh, you little fuzz balls you! Aha! You too funny!"

"What the chilidog?" Sonic raised an eyebrow; Tails was definitely not having them on; even he wouldn't stoop to this level for a simple joke. "What just happened to him?"

Amy gasped, "It must be the glitter stuff!"

Knuckles blinked letting this all sink in, "...huh?...Does that mean we're all gonna get dumb like him if we don't do nothing about it?"

"Well WE'LL all get dumb, but you'll probably feel no different" Rouge smirked.

"What? Really? Awesome!...how come?" Knuckles scratched his head, yet again in confusion. Everyone just groaned in annoyance, except for Tails who was playing with one of his boogers. Yep, I was official, he was DEFINITELY not faking!

"This is serious!" panicked Amy, "Tails was the smart one! Now what do we do? We can't just do nothing or we'll all end up like this!"

"Well...I guess we'll just have to find Eggman" Sonic said scratching his head, "And hope to chilidog heaven that nothing happens to anyone in the meantime"

Just then Bokkun flew in through the open window, "Dr. Eggman has a message for you!" he squeaked. Everyone gathered around the small TV to listen to what the Egg shaped scientist had to say.

"Ooh Ho Ho Ho!" He cackled, "I assume by the look on your faces that my P.P.W.E. gun has started to take effect! Now who's laughing hmm? If you want any chance at the antidote then meet Shadow at the city centre at precisely 12 o'clock today!" The message clicked off and Bokkun flew away laughing, no doubt because the TV was about to explode.

"Ahhhhh! Quick! Throw it out the window!" Everyone yelled as Sonic chucked it with all his might. Tails jumped up and caught it.

"Duh-ha-ha!" BOOM! It exploded and everyone ran coughing and spluttering out of Tails' tiny room.

"Eggman is going to pay for this!" Sonic yelled, shaking his fist to the sky, "For my buddy Tails!"

"Yay!" Tails dopily called out, "Boom, boom, boom, BOOM! Explosion in my room! Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duuuuuuuuuuuuuh!" Tails went cross-eyed and started drooling which caused everyone to go ewwwwww. "Let's do it again!"

"There's just one problem," the blue hedgehog spoke, while staring at a dumb-a-fied Tails, "How are we going to get there? Tails usually fly's us"

"I'll fly us!" Rouge said which surprised everyone, "What? I fly the jet GUN gave me all the time!"

"You have a jet?" everyone said in unison.

"Well, yeah!"

"How come you never told me this?" Knuckles burst out.

"Umm...why would I have to tell you anything about my life?" Rouge questioned.

"Err...I dunno..." everyone just stared at him.

The silence was broken by Tails, "Fairies are eeeeevil!"

"I know right! Eggman obviously had one squished up inside his pee wee gun! Stupid fairies!" Knuckles grumbled. Everyone's sweat dropped, looks like Knuckles finally found someone with his intellect.

**A/N: So it has begun! Next chapter, that's when the fun REALLY starts...a few more characters might be going just a little OOC..hehe. **

**Review Questions: **

**What would you make Tails do/say if he were dumb?**

**When Tails was going cross-eyed, did anyone else attempt to as well...or was it just me? lol XD**

**Is anyone else annoyed at the type 2 error?**

**Thanks for reading and please review! **


	3. I like Pie

**A/N: Yah hoo! 3****rd**** chapter! Nearly everyone goes OOC in this one...hehe...even Shadow...mwa ha ha, I am so evil, ahem. This Chapter is dedicated to KauroTheRandomBookworm because without her this chapter wouldn't even be here right now, thank you!**

**Disclaimer: This disclaimer just got owned!**

**Warning: This chapter could be offensive to pie haters...**

**I like Pie**

It was a peaceful midday in the city, the town was buzzing, the citizens were on computers tweeting, rubbish was gracefully blowing in the breeze, and the sweet scent of exploded public toilets filled the air...and a GUN fighter jet crash landed on top of the MoonCorp insurance company. A company representative ran worriedly out of the building to survey the damage.

"Oh no! We covered ourselves!"

All the civilians stopped and stared...then started cheering.

* * *

"ROUGE! I thought you knew how to fly this thing?" Knuckles grumbled as he punched open the doorway, existing onto the neighbourhood street that had been recently destroyed.

"I did know how to fly it! But when I was reading the manual I fell asleep before I could get to the landing stage!" Rouge pouted with her nose upturned.

Everyone else grumbled out of the aircraft, why did Tails have to be the one to lose his composer?

"La-la-la-la-la! Again! Again! Ha ha!" Tails then stopped for a moment and walked right up to Sonic. He then grabbed Sonic's sausage shaped nose in his hand, "Ahahahaha! You got a wiener nose!"

"O.k., can someone get 'im off because thiz iz really annoying" Sonic muttered whilst trying to pry the fox off his nose.

"I didn't think you'd show faker," Shadow appeared on top of a mound of rubble, "But I'm glad you did, beating Sonic the hedgehog will give me something to brag about later."

Sonic pushed Tails off his nose then flicked it back to shape "Where's the antidote Shadow?"

"Ha! There isn't one! Dr. Eggman just wanted me to hit you while you're down, and you know what? I'm going to enjoy it!" The ebony hedgehog sped down his mountain to meet Sonic face to face.

"Glad you invited me to the party! Now let's see who's the fastest." Sonic grinned and got ready to race off.

"Slow down Sonic! Jeesh!" Amy's voice echoed across the street.

"You should listen to your girlfriend Sonic!" Shadow smirked.

"She's not myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..."

"Oh yes I am!" Amy squawked.

"Whatever," the sonic look alike rolled his eyes, "Let's race, 3,2,1 go!" He then sped off into the distance while everyone looked on to see who would win.

* * *

"Go Sonic! GO!" The pink hedgehog screamed.

Knuckles scratched his head, "uhh...where is Sonic?"

"Well duh! He's obviously so far ahead we can't see him!" Amy said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Duuuuuuuuuh...hey Sonic!" Tails said with his eyes crossed while he was in some random yoga position-it was kind of creepy.

Everyone quickly turned around to face the starting line and were very surprised to see the cobalt hero still there...he seemed to be doing some sought of slow motion run.

"IIIIIIIII'llllll cccccaaaaattttcccchhhhh yyyyyooooouuuuu ssssshhhhaaaaaddddooooowwwww!" He spoke in a long, drawn out, slow motion voice as a snail sluggishly slid past.

"Sonic, what are you doing?" Knuckles questioned.

Rouge slapped him, "You idiot! He's obviously...err...Sonic what are you doing?" Knuckles hit her back which resulted in a slap fight.

"Oh no!" Amy shrieked, "Sonic's lost his speed!"

Sonic turned his head slowly to face Amy, "Whhhhhhhhhyyyyyyy aaaaarrrrreeeee yyyyyooooouuuu ttttaaaallllkkkkiiiinnnngggg sssooooo ffffaaaasssssttttt?"

"Obviously in more ways than one" Rouge said assessing the situation and slapping Knuckles at the same time.

Amy shook Sonic back and forth trying to get him to snap out of it, "I'm not talking fast! You're talking ssslllllooooooowwww!"

"I like candy floss! I like candy floss! And evil fairies to! Imma going ta go skiing now! Yay! Duuuh!" Tails bumbled in the background.

"Well it's your fault Amy! You told him to slow down!" Rouge smirked at the circumstances.

"This is not FUNNY! I didn't mean it; it was only because he was talking fast! Besides I said that yesterday!"

"Yeah...but, didn't you just say that now to?"

Amy shook her head. "Oh no, I think I know what's happening now!"

"Hey! You wanna go...uh...duuhhhh...SKIING!" Tails yelled

"It's summer! Duh!" Amy grumbled, annoyed that she seemed to be to blame for Sonics lack of speed.

"Duh?" Tails questioned.

"No duh!"

"Noooo...Duh?"

"AHHHH! Quit it Tails!"

"...duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh"

"ARGGGHHH!"

"...o.k.!"

* * *

Sonic had finally made it over to the group as he suspected something was up. "Hhhhhhhoooooowwwwww aaaaarrrrrreeeee yyyyoooouuuuu aaallllll mmmmooovvviiinnngggg sssoooooo fffaaasssttt?" he slowly questioned.

"O.k, it's been like three minutes and I'm already started to get annoyed by this!" Rouge huffed, "This pee pee gun or whatever, is turning our WORDS against ourselves! Everyone think back to yesterday, what was the first thing we said to one another after Eggman fired?"

"Oh, um...give me a second! I know this one!" Knuckles tried his hardest to remember the events from the previous day.

"Whoa Knucklehead! Don't strain your brain! You have a tough time remembering what happened a couple of minutes ago, let alone a day!" the ivory bat chuckled, this comment caused Knuckles to resume the slap fight.

"THAT ISN'T FUNNY!"

"Duuuh...does anyone have any skis?"

"...tttttthhhhhhaaaaaattttt wwwwaaaaasssss aaaaaa gggoooddd oooonnnnneeee rrrooouuuuggggeeeee!" Sonic slow-motion chuckled, but by the time he had finished his sentence, everyone had almost fallen asleep. Shadow had finally realized what was going on and sped back to the group full of rage.

"What's the big idea FAKER! I knew you were pathetic but I had no clue you were chicken!"

"Iiiiiiii'mmmmmmm nnnnoooottttttt ccccccccchhhhhhhiiiiii-"

"Very funny! Now let's race for real this time!"

"iiiiikkkkkeeeeennnnnn"

"What is he doing?" Shadow growled.

Amy caught fire with rage, "It's YOUR STUPID PEE GUN THAT'S WHAT!"

"...hehe...you mean..Sonic's actually slow? Hahahaha! That's rich! So what? No one's going to fight me then?"

"WHY YOU-" Amy started with her hammer raised.

"Don't worry Amy! I've got this!" Knuckles grinned and pulled out his shovel claws and went full charge at Shadow.

"Well at least I'm not weak like you!" Rouge's voice echoed around the street.

"Raaawwwrrrr!" Knuckles hit Shadow with all his might, "...ow!" He drew back his throbbing hand, "What are you made of metal or something?"

Rouge grimaced, she had a feeling she was partly responsible for this, "Err...sorry Knuckles"

"For what?"

Shadow had caught on, and looking completely bored, he flicked Knuckles which sent him flying to the other end of the street.

"Whhhhooooaaaaaa!" Knuckles was completely confused, since when was Shadow that strong?

* * *

Sonic started to slow motion laugh again, which made Rouge face palm herself, dearly hoping that nothing like that happened to her. But then she heard it, the most horrible words she could have ever heard echoing around the town. She gulped, surely not? She hated Knuckles now, he didn't deserve that apology. Everyone pricked up their ears listening to the new voices booming around, this time it sounded like a conversation.

"Ha! By the sounds of it you're almost as annoying as her!"

"Oh really! I'm like Amy am I? So you think I chase you around like a creepy stalker? DO YOU?"

A smile suddenly spread across Rouge's face and her eyes lit up and opened to the size of basketballs. Everyone stared at her confused. Her eyes scanned the area and then her whole face fell when she rested her gaze. She opened her mouth wide and yelled, "KNUCKIE!"

Knuckles popped his head out of a pile of rubble; "Huh?" he then gulped a he saw a blur of pink, black and white speeding towards him. "...Rouge?"

"Oh Knuckie I'm so glad you're alright! I was so worried about you! I'll make that Shadow pay for what he did!" Rouge paused dramatically, "You're my hero, I LOVE YOU!"

Knuckles had no idea what just happened or what to do but he knew it was time to get out of there real quick when Rouge started squishing him in a bone crushing hug and kissing him repeatedly on the cheek.

"Aggghhhhh! Gettoff! You're acting like Amy!"

"I do NOT act like that!" Amy huffed.

"Um, yes, yes you do!" Everyone, even Shadow said together. Amy just huffed more.

* * *

"Duhhhhhhuuuuhuuuuhuuuuuuhhhhh! Time to go skiing!" Tails yelled from the top of someone's roof. He had two planks strapped to his feet and was using wire debris from the jet as ski poles.

"You can't go skiing! There's no snow! And anyways, even if there was snow, you don't go skiing off some ones roof!" Amy growled, she was also getting worried that soon she'd be the last sane person left.

"Whhheeeeee!" Tails 'skied' down the roof knocking of all the roof tiles in the process. He tripped on the gutter and landed in a garbage can. "Duuuuuh! Haha! That was fun!" Everyone looked away unsure what to think. A person walked out of the house Tails had de-tiled.

"Yes!" they cheered, "A fox on skis destroying my roof! That's the one thing MoonCorp does cover for!"

Shadow rolled his eyes, "O.k. can we just hurry up and get this over with? I told Dr. Eggman I'd have you finished by 2!" He then summoned a chaos spear, and Sonic started to slow motion walk over to stop him.

"Noooooooooooooooooooo!" It looked like an epic scene from an adventure movie.

Then another booming voice echoed around the destroyed street. Shadow laughed in preparation for the next of Sonic's friends becoming a total Looney. Amy held her breath, hoping to anything that the 'next person' wasn't her.

"Now look what you've done Shadow! Can you at least TRY to be a little more sensitive?"

It was Amy's voice, and Shadow didn't like the sound of it, but Eggman said he should be fine!...Shouldn't he? He didn't talk to anyone...or maybe he did...oh no.

* * *

Amy growled not even caring about the voice, "Shadow I'm sick and tired of you so why don't you just come over here and speak to my hammer! I'll teach you to threaten my Sonic you...you...FAKER!" Amy's anger soon turned to curiosity when the black hedgehog remained silent. "...You were the one calling Sonic chicken! Are you afraid to face me?...SCARDEY-HOG!"

"...I-I'm not a scaredy-hog!" Shadow wined which threw everyone completely off their game, "You have no idea what it's l-like to be evil all the time! I try my best I really do! But n-nobody sniff cares about meeee!" Shadows blubbering soon turned into an incomprehensible slur of words as he continued to whine. Sonic smiled, suddenly being slow didn't matter so much anymore..it could have been worse...hehe...just ask Shadow.

"Erm...I uh...didn't mean it...um..." Amy tried to find something to say back to him, she didn't want to be seen as an insensitive meanie. "Well...it's just that you were trying to destroy the city and take our lives...and um...I must have got carried away..."

"You don't understand! No one understands! Eggman pushes me and pushes me to take over the world, and w-when do I get any say in this huh? I-I don't! And I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Shadow screamed like a moody teenager.

Everyone looked around and tried to not burst out laughing...it was kind of awkward... "Duh! Hey anyone want a mud pie! Ha ha! I made some yummy!" Tails then shoved a handful of mud into his mouth.

"I HATE PIE! Why are you trying to get me to eat some! Why does everyone hate me?" the normally calm hedgehog shrieked. "I HATE EVERYONE! AAAAAAAAH!"

The Sonic crew shuffled their feet nervously; do they keep fighting or what? Shadow was being really...well...difficult.

"...Pie tastes good!" Tails yelled and stuck some up his nose.

"AHHHHHHHH! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! WHEN WILL YOU GET IT? I DON'T LIKE PIE!"

"duuhh-haha! You kind of look like a burnt pie, but you smell like a cherry tomato sausage roll!" Tails drooled.

"NO ONE GETS ME! WHAAAAA! I HATE YOU! AND I HATE CHERRES! AND I. HATE. PIE! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Tails blinked and looked at the pile of mud that he had labelled a pie, he then looked at Shadow who was about to blow. He was huffing and puffing and it even looked like steam was coming out his ears."...I like pie!"

"ARGGGHHHHHHH! CHAOS BLAST! CHAOS SPEAR! CHAOS RIFT! CHAOS EVERYTHING! AGGGHHHHHH!" Shadow went crazy and fired everything he had; which sent everyone into a panic. They started screaming and trying to squash into the nearest random's house, bus stop or public toilet.

**A/N: o-oh, Shadow's cracked, what now? Just like to thank Dyslexic Carmie who said that skiing off a roof would be a dumb thing to do!...I think she is right...If you have anything dumb you want Tails to do then tell me in a review!**

**Review Questions:**

**Are you smart enough to figure out what will happen next?**

**Do you think Eggman's going to notice that Shadow's a little...sensitive?**

**Have you ever gone skiing off a roof? (please say no)**

**Do you like pie?**

**That's all for now! Reviewers will be praised, flamers can get a mud pie thrown in their face!**


	4. CREAM!

**A/N: Thankyou everyone so much for reviewing! This chapter is dedicated to all my reviewers, too many to name! But especially Wise old p1neapple...because...well...pineapples are awesome! Using a pineapple in my story is so incredibly random I thought, hey? Why not! Keep sendin in dumb stuff 4 Tails to do! Carmie, I am so going to use that line you wrote, in a later chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own the story, Sega owns the characters and Wise old p1neapple owns the pineapple XD **

**CREAM?**

It had been 10 minutes since our last chapter had taken place and everyone is terrified and hiding from an outraged Shadow who is currently storming around the street, throwing random chaos objects everywhere. Well...everyone who is sane is terrified...Amy was asleep because Sonic kept talking to her, so far he'd asked her two questions in 10 minutes...how's the weather? And was that a chaos spear? Knuckles was currently trying, with no success, to pry Rouge off his arm. At least Sonic was fast enough to keep Amy away, or as he was currently, boring enough. Knuckles was so weak that when a strong breeze blew he almost got blown away, this made Rouge cling to him more.

Amy sighed, why did she have to be the only one sane? She looked over at Tails who was...err...playing with a pineapple? She looked beside herself and noticed Sonic was still talking and she remembered she was supposed to be listening to him.

"aaaaaaannnnnndddd wwweeeee sshhhoouuulllddd gggeeetttt bbbbbaaaacckkk-uuuppp." He finished (finally).

"You know what Sonic, maybe we should...hey Tails, don't you have a communicator thingy which could contact GUN?" Amy asked, but then realized that this was a stupid thing to ask Tails.

Tails stopped playing with his pineapple for a moment to look at Amy. "Uhhhh...my friend does!" he said holding up his pineapple proudly.

Amy's eye twitched, she did not want to talk to a pineapple but she really needed that communicator, "um...can I borrow your communicator please...Mr...Pineapple?" the last part was a real effort to say.

Tails looked offended; apparently she had insulted the pineapple. "His name is Chuck Norris!"

Amy face palmed herself, "You know what? I can't take this anymore! JUST GIVE ME THE DARN COMMUNICATOR TAILS!" She then made a grab for it and soon found herself wrestling the yellow fox.

"No! You can't take it! It belongs to Chuck Norris!" Tails then dropped his pineapple which landed on the communicator and cracked the screen. Amy worriedly picked it up, it seemed damaged beyond repair but at least it seemed to have sent out a signal during their fight...to someone...she just hoped that someone was GUN.

* * *

Just then Eggman putted in on his eggmobile and swerved quickly to the side as he was almost hit by one of Shadow's flying chaos spears, "Shadow! What are you doing? And what's taking so long! You said you'd have Sonic finished off by 2! IT'S NOW 2:15!"

"Stop yelling at ME! I'M TRYING MY BEST! AHHHHHH! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME! YOU NEVER TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN! AAAAHHHHHH!" Shadow screamed wildly and stamped his foot.

"What are you doing Shadow? Why are you acting so...sensitive?" Eggman wrinkled up his nose in both disgust and confusion.

"I'M NOT SENSITIVE! WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT? FIRST AMY NOW YOU! ARGGHHH! I HATE YOU!" Shadow screamed at the top of his lungs which caused all of the screaming bystanders to stop and stare at Eggman, who shrugged and raised his hands as if to say it wasn't his fault. Shadow did one last moody scream saying that no one 'got him' and then stormed into some randoms house, slamming the door behind him.

Everyone could hear the random inside greeting Shadow, "Oh hey there! You decide to stop by to say a friendly hello?"

"I HATE YOU!" Shadow screamed.

There was an awkward silence as everyone stared at Eggman. "What? Fine! I'll go get him!" Eggman grumbled and flew into the randoms house.

"Hey there Eggman!"

"Outta my way!"

* * *

Everyone again shuffled their feet nervously, it was really awkward. Then Cream bounded cheerfully over to them completely unaware of the current situation.

Amy looked puzzled, "Cream! What are you doing here?"

"I was passing by when I got a call from Tails!" She gleefully squeaked then stopped when she heard what sounded like Eggman and Shadow yelling from inside a random house. "What's going on?"Amy face palmed herself, could things get any worse?

Then Knuckles couldn't contain himself and started bawling with laughter. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sh-SHADOW! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"You shouldn't laugh!" Pouted Cream, "Everyone has feelings even him!"

This comment made everyone crack up, "S-sorry Cream, AHAHAHAHA! BUT it's REALLY FUNNY!" Amy and Rouge cackled at the exact same time. Everyone was now in tears. But then they heard another booming voice, oh great, what now?

"Whoa Amy! Just chill!"

Amy sighed, she knew something was bound to happen to her sooner or later...Cream glanced over at her, "um...Amy are you o.k?"

"Never been better Cream" she replied in a dreamy voice. Just then Shadow chaos controlled outside, grumbling he kicked a rock which hit Sonic's head.

"oooooooooooooowwwwwww"

Eggman blasted a wall in the randoms house and flew out of it grumbling, "Teenagers".

The random looked out through the hole in his wall, "uhh..Eggman, is this a family dispute? Cause MoonCorp doesn't cover family disputes!...so uh..would you mind if I just claimed for 'a giant bunny hole'?"

"Shadow! You can't just teleport away when I'm giving you orders! You follow me! I'm you're master! What is wrong with you?"

Shadow stomped his foot as hard as he could on the ground, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE!"

"Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh...bbbbbuuuuuurrrrrrnnnnn..." Sonic chuckled.

"IS THAT ATTITUDE MISTER? WELL I WON'T ALLOW THAT IN MY BASE! YOU WILL FOLLOW ME AND THAT'S AN ORDER!" Eggman furiously yelled.

"NOOOOO!" Shadow screamed.

There was a long drawn out silence as Eggman and Shadow stared each other down. "Um, awkward!" Rouge whispered to Knuckles as she clung to his arm.

"Gettoff!" The red guardian yanked his arm back.

"But I love you!"

"Ugh! Sonic how did you deal with THIS!" Knuckles pushed Rouge back again in frustration.

"TTTTThhhhheeeee mmmmooorrrreeeee yyyyoooouuuu pppuuussshhhh ttthhheeeemmm aaawwwaaayyy tttthhhheeee mmmooorreeee ttthhheeeeyyyy cccllliiinnngggg ttooo yyyyooouuu" said Sonic in slow-mo.

"Great"

"Knuckie!" Rouge yanked Knuckles arm towards her, although she forgot how weak Knuckles was now, so the simple tug sent him flying to the other side of the street.

"AGGGGGHHHHHHHH! ROUGE!" He yelled as he hurtled over the top of Eggman and Shadow who were in the middle of a death stare.

"Oops..."

* * *

Amy sighed, "Come on everyone! Let's all get along! Like the trees and the bees and the birds because this fighting is just absurd. Just chillax! Feel the love man! Let's take some deep breaths and all hold hands in a field of flowers. Peace to the world!" Eggman and Shadow stopped their death glares to stare at Amy in utter confusion. "Just chill brother! We are all one, just like the parts of a flower. In pieces they can easily be overlooked, but as one they make a beautiful whole!"

"Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." Sonic started.

"I'M NOT ONE WITH HIM! HE NEVER LET'S ME DO ANYTHING I WANT! I NEVER GET TO WATCH MOVIES OR GO TO THE BEACH OR JUST CHILLAX! IT'S ALWAYS, SHADOW KILL SONIC! OR SHADOW TAKE OVER THE WORLD! OR SHADOW GO GET ME A DOUBLE BEEF, CHICKEN AND BACON BURGER WITH EXTRA CHEESE AND SKITTLES HOLD THE GREENS! Shadow screamed which made all the civilians glare at Eggman again.

"Wait a second...the P.P.W.E. gun...Amy said to Shadow...wait a second...AMY!" Eggman growled, "You did this to him!"

"Nah man! Why would I hurt a brother in need? It seems we just need to unite you as a harmonious whole!" Amy replied while meditating, Tails started to copy her.

"Duh-haha! Yeah! There's no 'I' in Eggman! Duuuh-ha-ha!" he drooled.

"Err...I can obviously see what my P.P.W.E. gun did to you...there's no 'Shadow' in Eggman either..."

"OH YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!" Shadow yet again screamed. Eggman was getting quite fed up with this as all the civilians kept looking at him and shaking their heads like he was a bad parent.

"What are you talking about man? Everyone has a shadow! It's that peaceful guy who doesn't say anything but does whatever we do! Without a Shadow we wouldn't have a soul!" Amy said as if she'd zoned out.

"duh...yeah! Cause we'd all be vampires!" added the dumb-a-fied fox. Everyone's sweat dropped.

"Well, I think Amy's right! We should all try to get along!" Cream suddenly spoke up, and it became evident to everyone that Cream had yet again dodged a bullet as nothing had happened to her...yet.

"Oh toughen up!" Shadow's voice echoed across the street.

"Who said that?" Shadow responded, "It better not have been directed at me because, sniff, if it was I don't know-"Shadow wailed.

"SHADOW! No one said anything! DID THEY?" Eggman yelled at Sonic and his gang.

Nobody wanted Shadow to start another tantrum and throw chaos things everywhere so they quickly agreed.

"Noooooooooooooo wwwaaaaaayyyyyy!"

"No way man! Just chill!"

"Um...no, hey Knuckie?"

"NO!"

"Ha ha, PIE FIGHT!" Tails screamed at the most inappropriate of times and threw a handful of mud at Shadow's face.

Shadow at first did not know how to react, but then he started glowing with chaos energy and screamed at the top of his lungs, "I HATE PIE!"

Eggman hid behind a building, "oh no, if I survive this I will definitely figure out an antidote!"

"Oh quit whining you big wimp!" a tough, manly voice yelled from behind the group. Shadow stopped in shock, who was that? Everyone turned around and saw a now totally buff and muscular...

* * *

"CREAM?"

"Yeah you bet it's me! Now if I hear one more sob story out of you princess then I'll come over there and sought out your problems with my fist, IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?" Cream yelled. Everyone turned to face the usually well-mannered rabbit to see that her dress was now skin tight on account of all her muscles which had suddenly burst out of nowhere.

Shadow took a moment to let this sink in, and then he again started whining, "Well you just don't understand what I've been through! How would you like to be frozen for decades! I-It's HARD o.k! And then you have everyone yelling at you and you don't know which side to choose cause you don't know who's telling the truth! AND I HATE IT! I HATE EVERYONE! You don't get me! I-agggghhhhhh!" Cream couldn't take it anymore and so true to her word, she punched him so hard that he disappeared with a 'ding' into the sky.

"Sensitive jerk!" Cream grumbled. Everyone just looked at one another unsure of what just happened.

"Great, do you know how emotional he's going to be when I get back to my base? He'll probably lock himself in a storage area, claiming it's his room, then turn up his 'pop music' real loud, whilst demanding a supreme pizza and three tubs of ice cream! Jeesh! I won't get him out for another three hours!" Eggman groaned as he flew back to his base.

"Soooooooo...now what?" Rouge questioned.

"Iiiiiiiii gggguuueeesss wweeeee ssshhoouulllddd gggooo bbbaaaccckkk ttoo tthhee mmmaannssiioooonnn.."

"Yeah, but how are we going to get back?" Rouge replied.

"Toughen up sissies! We're travelling by foot! Any complaints can meet my fist!" Cream growled then started speed walking away.

Everyone silently 'aww man'ed and started making their back to Chris' house...dragging slow-mo Sonic on Tails' pair of 'skis' behind them.

* * *

**A/N: Well, everyone has gone insane, except for Sonic and Knuckles, they just lost their physical abilities-but don't worry they'll get their fair share of pain in chapters to come...**

**Review Question:**

**Who do you think has it the worst so far?**

**What do you think Shadow's going to do when he gets back to Eggman's base?**

**What would be the most embarrassing/funniest thing that could happen to one of these characters while they're like this?**

**Do you like pineapples?**

**Thank you all for reading! =D**


	5. That Pineapple's gonna get Creamed!

**A/N: YEEEEEES! Finally! I have overcome my massive writers block! Sorry for the late update, I was just so drained of ideas! Then I pretty much wrote the whole thing in two afternoons! I had a sudden burst of inspiration! O.k. this chapter goes out to Dyslexic Carmie and A guy without an account yet...random name yet awesome ideas! You might notice quite a few of them are in here...Anyway, I've wasted enough time with the intro so on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I own Misty, she is my pet...not really but I'd like her to be! 'Follow Me' does not belong to Shadow, no matter how much he wants it, it actually belongs to Kay Hanley, if you haven't heard it then listen to it here...(without the spaces) www . youtube . com /watch?v=Nhp4fT8iyS8**

**That pineapple's gonna get creamed!**

"LEFT! LEFT! LEFT, RIGHT LEFT!" Cream barked out orders as everyone sluggishly finished their epic journey back to the mansion.

"My feet are sore!" Rouge winged, "Knuckie will you carry me?"

"NO! Now get OFF my ARM!"

"Pleeeeaaaaase?"

"NO!"

"Ok! Thanks Knuckie!"

"What? But I didn't say- OMPH!" Rouge jumped on top of Knuckles which consequently flattened him to the ground, "get...OFF!"

"Carry meeeee!"

"I CAN'T! YOU'RE TOO HEAVEY!"

Rouge suddenly caught fire, "HOW DARE YOU SAY I'M TOO HEAVEY! NOW CARRY ME RIGHT NOW!" When Knuckles stayed flattened under Rouge's butt, she snatched Amy's hammer from her and started beating him further into the ground, "CARRY ME!"

"ow, OW! Owowowowowowowow! QUIT IT!"

"Come on guys! Where's the love man? Violence isn't the answer, give peace a chance!" Amy said while watching the scene unfold, "Brother Tails man, Like a true Nature's child, we were born, born to be wild. But even so, could you please refrain from chewing on my ear"

"Uh...chomp, chomp, ear!" Tails said while continuing to slobber on it.

"Why...HAVE WE STOPPED MARCHING? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY OUR PROGRESS HAS SUDDENLY HALTED TO A COMPLETE STAND STILL!" Cream shouted to the rest of the group.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelll..."

"Anyone but SONIC?"

"My feet are sore!"

"Rouge is sitting on me!"

"Brother Tails is gnawing my ear...but it's cool!"

"Duuuuuuh, pie!"

Cream's eye started to twitch as she growled in frustration, "grrrr...TOUGHEN UP PRINCESSES! ROUGE GET YOUR BUTT OFF KNUCKLES AND INTO HIGH GEAR! I WANT TO GET TO THE MANSION TODAY!"

Rouge was offended but she dare not argue, "...fine..."

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"Sir! Yes, Sir!"

"That's MORE like it!" Cream snapped and continued to march.

* * *

Meanwhile, Eggman was in his base wearing a pair of goggles as he delicately poured some sought of chemical mixture into a beaker containing another substance. "Now if I can just get this right the antidote will be complete!...and if I get it wrong it will blow up in my face….hmmm…" He lifted the test tube gently and poured the two mixtures together, "careful….careful…"

Just then music blasted out, shaking the whole of Eggmans base, causing him to drop the formula and it blew up in his face. "Anywhere you wanna go. Anything you need to know. All the best in life, I want to get it for you!"

"Ahhhh! What IS that infernal racket?" Eggman yelled as he wiped the soot from the mini explosion off his face…but then he got a pretty good idea of what it was…."SHADOW!" Eggman grumbled down the corridor until he arrived at one of his new storage bays…which had recently been taken over by a sensitive but very powerful black hedgehog. Eggman thumped on the door, "Shadow! SHADOW! TURN THAT DOWN! I'm trying to work on an antidote here!"

"You're my world, you're gold. I only want to protect you." The music was just turned up louder.

"ARGGHHHH!...is that...Team Rose's theme song?...All right! THAT'S IT! I'm coming in right now!" Eggman burst through the door to find Shadow sitting on an examination/torturing bed reading some magazine while eating ice cream from the tub. The room had been plastered with gothic posters and the cause of the racket seemed to be coming from one of Eggman's old radios that Shadow must have found. "Shadow…where did you get all this stuff from?...Oh, never mind that! Turn that…_thing_ off and come out to my invention lab! I need to test some antidotes on you!"

Shadow looked up from his magazine with an extremely frightening look on his face. "Get out….OF MY ROOOOM!" He screamed and threw a scoop of ice cream at Eggman.

Eggman usually wouldn't mind ice cream being thrown at him but it was _who_ was throwing it that was the problem. That _who_ was supposed to be throwing _chaos spears_, at SONIC! "Shadow get out here right now! You're not acting yourself and I need to find an antidote before this becomes permanent!"

"So you think there's something…WRONG with me?"

"No…well maybe…"

"So you think I'm a FREAK DO YOU!"

"Well I didn't say that exactly…"

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOUR FAMILY, YOUR FACE, YOUR GOD DANG ROBOTS! Leave me alone or I'll send you to the lost zone! CHAOS GOD DANG RIFT!"

Eggman screamed like a girl and ran as out of Shadow's 'room' as if there was an all you can eat at Burger King.

* * *

Back at the Thorndyke residence, everyone had finally made it back home...

"LEFT! LEFT! LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT! AND HALT! ABOUT TURN! AT EASE!"

Everyone collapsed on the ground from exhaustion.

"Ew! OMG I'm so sweaty! I have to get changed!" Rouge said looking at her outfit in disgust, "hey..um, Amy...would you mind if I borrowed your clothes?"

"Go for it, in fact take them all! All my dresses, boots, headbands, gloves and hammers! I don't need material possessions to be happy, in fact, all I need is this sack" Amy said, while putting a sack over her head and making arm holes and leg holes.

"All right...if you're sure, EEEEEEK! NEW CLOTHES!" Rouge screamed in Knuckles' ear which caused him to fall over, before running upstairs to take all Amy's clothes.

"uuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" Sonic said as he watched this

"Brother Sonic, doing some meditation? Let me join you! Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmm" Amy said whilst crossing her legs.

Cream was doing some push ups, "178...ugh, 179...180! Yeah! Feel the burn!"

"duuuuuuuuh, Chuck Norris says he could do five hundred before he starts to sweat" Tails said dopily.

"Oh really?"

"Well...sought of, but instead of pushing up he pushes the whole world down"

"You think your...PINEAPPLE could do more push ups than me?" Cream bellowed.

"Well yeah, if he had arms..."

Cream just grunted at this comment and started doing chin-ups on the curtain rod.

"Marry me Knuckles! MARRY ME!"

"For the last time no!"

"...fine then! But...just one kiss? Huh? Please? Please? Come on Knuckie, just one!"

"Argh!"

"Is that a yes?"

"uuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm" Amy continued, "Breath in...and out...in...and out...ahhh, feel the life energy surging through your veins!"

"Three...ugh...hundred and twelve, argh! Feel the pain! Love the pain! I'd like to see your PINEAPPLE do more Tails!" Cream said as she finished her chin-ups.

"Maybe not, but Chuck Norris doesn't even need to use a bar! Duuuuuh!"

A vein bulged in Cream's head, "THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE! I'm going to the kitchen!" She said as she tried to make her way through the doorway...but there was just one problem, Sonic was also trying to get into the kitchen but he was blocking the doorway. "Arghhh! Move it prickle butt before I move you myself!"

"I'm tryyyyyyyyyiiiiiiiiiiing!" Sonic said as he moved in extra slow mo through the door.

"Argghhh! That's IT!" Cream lost her temper...again and gave Sonic a good kick in the butt...this didn't really make a difference though as Sonic was now just slow motion flying through the air, don't ask me how that works... "OH COME ON! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME!"

Tails walked over holding his pineapple, "duuuuh...Chuck Norris could move him"

Cream had had enough with this so called 'Chuck Norris pineapple', "you...think...your...PINEAPPLE is stronger than me?"

"um...yeah"

"WELL I'D LIKE TO SEE IT MOVE SONIC OUT OF MY ROAD!" She screamed in his face

"duuuuh...ok" Tails pathetically threw the pineapple and it just made it to Sonic's foot...but after that it was all a blur. Sonic suddenly torpedoed forward at supersonic speed and crashed into the wall leaving a head sized crater.

"oooooooooooooooowwwwwwww" He said as he got up and resumed his slow-mo.

"Sooo...let me get this straight.." Knuckles said, "I..."

"KISS ME!"

"...yeah...and you leave me alone?"

"...what?...oh, absolutely!" She replied, although she wasn't really listening to him because the sound of wedding bells was ringing in her ears.

Cream yelled in frustration that she was beaten by a pineapple with a stupid name, she then grabbed Tails by the collar and lifted him up to her eyes level, "ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SAY?" She snarled.

"duuuuhh-haaa-haaa, you're pretty!"

"YOU'RE AS PUNEY AS A PINEAPPLE!" Cream screamed and threw him in a random direction. That random direction however, just happened to be where Knuckles and Rouge where sitting and about to kiss, but Tails knocked weakling Knuckles out of the way and Rouge kissed him instead.

"ow!" Knuckles quickly got up and took his chance to bolt away.

"Huh?" Rouge opened her eyes to find Tails in her arms.

"Duuuuh-haaaaa, you're pretty to!"

"What?...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She screamed in frustration and whacked Tails with all her might at Amy using 'her' new piko-piko hammer.

"Whoa! Brother Tails dude!"

Cream wasn't finished with him so started walking over but slipped on the pineapple and landed on Knuckles. The pineapple then shot out and hit Rouge square on the head knocking her out.

"NOOOO...oh...er...I mean, yay!" Knuckles said sheepishly from under Cream's muscular bum.

"AHHHHHH! THIS PINEAPPLE IS GONNA GET CREAMED!" Cream yelled, then paused for a moment to smile, happy with her new catch phrase.

"No not Chuck Norris!" Tails yelled as he grabbed his pineapple and ran for it. Cream ran after him and cornered him in between Sonic and the exit. Just as Tails was about to get 'creamed' Amy jumped in between them.

"Violence isn't the answer! Give peace a CHANCE!" She said while acting as a human barrier.

"Outta my way hippie freak!" Cream growled and pushed Amy over towards the stove. For some reason though, someone really stupid must have turned the stove on which caused Amy's sack she was wearing to catch fire.

"…o-oh…eeeeek!" She threw off her sack (she had her clothes on underneath) and it landed on Cream and lit her gloves on fire, she threw it at Rouge as she was waking up and it set her dress on fire.

"NOOOOO! GET IT OFF!" She threw it at Knuckles (accidently) and his tail caught on fire.

"OWOWOWOWOWOW!" Everyone started running around crazily trying to put themselves out.

Tails stood there observing the scene, "Well, good, golly gosh! Everyone seems to be in fire…" He then picked up his pineapple to make sure it stayed safe.

* * *

Just then Chris arrived home and opened the door to find his smoke alarms going off and the sprinkles immediately turned on and drenched him and everyone else. "…What on Earth is going on here!"

Everyone paused and turned to face him, "NOTHING!" Knuckles immediately yelled out, unsure of how long Chris had been standing there.

He was still staring utter confusion, wondering if thing could get any weirder when he heard a faint noise...it sounded like a song actually..."Follow me inside, outside, through the stratosphere. The moon is shining for you, it knows that I adore you."

"Is that...Team Rose's theme song?" Chris said and looked at Cream and Amy who simply shrugged.

Just then an ebony hedgehog walked moodily into the lounge room with his arms folded and earphones in his ears with the music turned up deafeningly loud so that everyone else could hear it to. He plonked himself on the couch and started fiddling with his ipod. Everyone sat there staring.

"Um...you...right there Shadow?" Rouge asked.

"Eggman was being a stupid jerk and trying to make me do stuff so I'm crashin' here for a bit till that lard butt can see through his ROLLS AND EXAGGERATED FACIAL HAIR!" After he had done screaming he continued to fiddle with his ipod till he figured out that he already had it on max volume. "Oh, F MY LIFE!" Everyone just continued to stare at him...it wasn't usual for your arch-enemy to just decide to 'crash at your place for a bit'. Shadow finally noticed all attention was on him, "Take a picture it'll last longer! If you want I'll give you a close up OF MY FIST!" Everyone quickly looked in another directing and started whistling random tunes.

Chris still didn't know what to think, usually when he met Shadow he was throwing chaos spears not insults, "Can someone PLEASE tell me what's going on?"

* * *

Later...

"Sooo...let me get this straight...Eggman hit you all with a...pee, pee...wee gun?...And now you're all acting..." Shadow shot Chris a threatening look, "uhh...totally normal!...If by normal you mean COMPLETLEY WACKED OUT AND OUT OF CHARACTER! Tails is acting like a complete...not Tails, Sonic's gone from hare to tortoise, Knuckles is weak, Cream is strong, Rouge is acting like Amy and Amy is...are you even listening to me?"

"Yeah, go on brother" Amy said while fitting herself with a new sack.

"well...yeah..and Shadow is SITTING ON MY COUCH! Guys, what are my parents going to say when they see this!"

"Eh, probably the exact same thing you said then..." Knuckles said very blasé while trying with all his might to open a can of cake. Cream walked over and grabbed his can and squashed it in her fist.

"Who CARES about parents! All they do is make your life hell and don't let you do anything!" Shadow growled.

"Yeah...um...ok then...but let me put it this way, my parents won't let you 'crash here' if...actually, they won't let you crash here full stop! They've just got over the fact that I'm friends with a talking blue hedgehog! We have to find a way to change everyone back to normal!"

"Well what have you got in mind genius?" Knuckles said grumpily.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO ROUGE!" Everyone heard Tails scream and ran into the kitchen to find Rouge about to chop up his pineapple.

"Agh! Can someone restrain him? TRYING to make a fruit salad here!" She said as she wrestled Tails for the fruit. Cream walked over and grabbed Tails' arm between two fingers and dragged him away.

"NOOOOO! NOOOO!" he screamed as he tried to struggle free.

Rouge rolled her eyes, "This is for Knuckie! I promised him PINEAPPLE!" She said as she raised her knife.

"Knuckie?" Chris raised an eyebrow at him which caused Knuckles to grumble away with embarrassment.

Duh-Duh-Duh-Duh! Horror music started playing as Rouge brought down her knife. CRACK! "…huh?" Rouge looked at her knife…it had split in two, "…Must have been old, I'll grab another" She went to the cupboard and grabbed three knives but every time she tried to cut the pineapple the knife split in two. "What is this? A pineapple or a brick?" She grumbled then gave up. Cream let Tails free and he ran over to grab his super pineapple.

"Ok, back to the plan…well first we need to make a plan.." Chris said using Tails' presentation table. Ding Dong!

"Duuuh-haaa! I'll get it!" Tails said as he ran towards the door.

"Yeah, ok, now like I was saying we have to use our brains to think!"

"Shaaaaaadoooooow! Eggman's here to seeeeee you!" Tails yelled from the door.

"Yeah that's great Tails now…WHAT?" Chris suddenly realized what he said.

"Tell him I'm not here!" Shadow grumbled.

"Duuuh ha! Ok! Shadow said he's not here!"

"Shadow I know you're in there!" Eggman yelled and then pushed Tails out of the way and walked into the lounge room.

"Nooooot soooo faaaaast eggggmaaaaaaan!" Sonic yelled as he did a slow motion spin dash.

"Not so fast yourself hedgehog! But I'm not here for you! Shadow did you really think I wouldn't find you? How dare you just run away like that! After all I did for you! I RELEASED YOU FROM THAT CAPSULE! And this is how you repay me? Well you're not coming back in my base until I get a formal apology!"

"Whatever I want, I get! I want, shooting stars." Shadow pretended to ignore him and just started singing to his ipod.

"Where'd he even get our theme song from?" Amy whispered to Cream.

"Argh!" Eggman ripped out his earphones, "I am your master and you will LISTEN TO ME!"

"Fat chance fatso!"

"What?...DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?"

"You heard me, fatty, fat fat-fat!"

Eggman growled a menacing growl and steam started coming out his ears.

"…Oh, well, look at the time! I left the…um…pineapple…in the oven..." Rouge smiled and quietly backed away.

"oh, um yeah! So did I!" Knuckles followed her out.

"duuuh, I have to cook an ant!" Tails said as he skipped after them, completely unaware why everyone was leaving.

"Yeah…me too…." Amy said as she dragged Sonic, Chris and Cream out with her.

"mmm, ant and pineapple soufflé, I believe I've had that before…" Eggman said scratching his chin, "Now Shadow, YOU'RE COMING BACK TO MY BASE RIGHT NOW!"

"MAKE ME!"

"Well you can't stay here! These people are your ENEMIES!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE! I HATE YOU!" Shadow screamed as he stormed out the door.

"Wait! STOP! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?"

"To stay with my girlfriend! She's a hedgehog and unlike you she understands me!"

Eggman almost chocked on nothing, "WHAT? You can't have a girlfriend! Who-WHO IS SHE? You're the ULTIMATE LIFEFORM!" Shadow kept walking out the door, "…well, don't come crying to me when she dumps you!"

"She loves me! We're going to be together forever! Tell him Misty!" Shadow said as he pulled out of his non-existent pocket a real hedgehog with a bow stuck on one of its spikes.

"….that's…your girlfriend?" Eggman said as he stared at the small ball of prickles, this really made him think how Shadow, Sonic or Amy even resembled real hedgehogs at all. "…oh ho ho ho!"

"WHAT?"

"For a second there I though…never mind. Where does she live? In that hole in the front yard? OH HO HO HO!"

"AHHH! YOU DON'T GET ME! NOW YOU'VE INSULTED HER! I HATE YOU!" Shadow screamed as he stormed outside but not before throwing a chaos spear into a random wall. Behind that wall everyone just happened to be hiding and listening.

"er…hey!...how am I going to explain this to my parents?" Chris said to no one in particular as he looked out the hole.

Eggman walked out the door muttering to himself, "must find antidote, must find antidote.."

"Well…that went well…" Amy said trying to be positive, "But I still think we should get them together to do a little group therapy…"

"oh, I'll teach them some therapy alright!" Cream growled and cracked her knuckles.

"Duuuuuh, Chuck Norris could teach 'em better" Tails added, not even sure of what 'therapy' was.

"So…you STILL think your pineapple is stronger than ME?"

"duuuuuh…yeah!" Creams eye started to twitch.

"Noooooot agaaaaaaiiiiin!" Sonic moaned.

* * *

**Again, sorry for the late update! This chapter was a little longer so I hope you could be bothered to read it.**

**Review Questions:**

**Have any idea what's gonna happen next?**

**Which character do you find the funniest so far?**

**Will Eggman ever figure out the antidote? Gosh I hope so! **

**Thank you for anyone still reading this! Please review!**


	6. Just Another Sunny Day

**A/N: Yaya! New chapter! This one is dedicated to my very best friend on fanfiction! Jazzyroxx97, I hope we can talk again soon! You're an awesome bud! Thanks as well to everyone who gave me ideas for this chapter, too many to mention. Oh, and thanks very much to my awesome reviewers! You know who you are!**** Smiley face for you! ****ツ**

**Disclaimer: I own the Pee Pee Wee Gun! Yeah, that right! You heard me! I DO!**

* * *

**Just another Sunny Day...**

It was another sunny day, a light breeze was blowing, it was perfect for a stroll, and that is what three defective detectives where doing at just this moment.

"Hey Vector, Vector, Vector, Vector"

"WHAT?"

"Where are we going?" The young bee asked

"I told you we're going for a stroll!"

"Ok then...why?"

"CAUSE IT'S A NICE DAY TO GO STROLLING!"

"Ok...but what's the point?"

"THE POINT IS TO STROLL NOW STROLL!"

"Ok" Charmy started swinging his arms back and forth and taking large strides in an over-exaggerated way to stroll. Vector sighed, it was annoying but at least he wasn't talking anymore, Espio seemed to be sharing his thoughts as he closed his eyes in frustration. The silence lasted about five seconds.

"Hey Vector"

"What?"

"Can we go to a party?"

Vector and Espio turned to him with very fierce looks as if they were about to strangle him. "If you...say one more word, ONE WORD!" Vector said pointing a finger at him in a threatening manner. Charmy got the hint and decided to zip it...for about five more seconds.

"uhh, Vector.."

"THAT'S IT!"

"No but-"

"I WARNED YOU!"

"But you should know that-"

"ZIP IT!"

"SHADOW'S OVER THERE AND HE LOOKS REALLY MAD!" Charmy screamed and pointed behind him...where Shadow was standing a few metres away. Vector and Espio froze as Shadow grinded his teeth and narrowed his eyes.

"That's...interesting...AHHH! SHADOW PLEASE DON'T HURT US! IT'S SONIC YOU WANT! HE HAS THE CHAOS EMERALDS! SPARE US WE DON'T DESERVE TO DIE!" Vector said getting on his hands and knees. Espio sighed and rolled his eyes. Shadow started fuming.

"Vector..." Charmy whispered in a scared tone, "I think he's really angry..."

"Oh really? Whatever gave you that idea?" Vector said in a sarcastic tone before resuming his scared pose.

Shadow opened his mouth a fraction and said in an extremely threatening voice, "Brock"

"...err...didn't quite catch that..." Charmy said while Vector gave him a 'don't say a word' look.

"Brock...BROCK!"

"er...who's there?" Charmy said sheepishly. Vector and Espio opened their eyes wide in terror, Shadow stared them down, Charmy was still waiting for him to tell the rest of the joke.

"...WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WHY!" Shadow broke down on the ground and started bawling. The Chaotix team had no idea what so ever to think...no really, they didn't, so they just stood there looking at him.

* * *

It was the same sunny day back at the Thorndyke residence, except nobody was strolling, they where all inside the mansion. Grandpa Chuck had just arrived home, and after getting over the initial welcome of Cream pegging Knuckles at him, Rouge then tackling Knuckles, and Amy telling him to 'make love not war', he was all ready to work on finding a cure for this strange, 'Pee Pee Wee Gun'.

"So do you have any idea how this happened? Like, have any ideas what chemicals where used or did you keep a sample?" Chuck asked.

"Who do you think we are? Tails?" Knuckles asked, of course he was referring to Tails in his smart form, but in his current state, Chuck probably thought they did resemble Tails.

"Brrrrmmmm-brrrrmmmm-brmmmmm" Tails said as he 'drove' his pineapple over Chris' head. Chris ignored this for a while till Tails started rolling the prickly fruit down his face, "oh no we're gonna die! Brmm-brm-brm-brm-brm!"

"Ow! Tails quit it!" He said as he pulled a pineapple spine out of his cheek. Tails didn't listen and starting trying to shove the pineapple up Chris' nose, "AGHHHH!" Chris grabbed it and threw it...unfortunately at Sonic. Sonic again went crashing into the wall at high speed.

"Ow! Will you guys quit doing that? It's really painful!"

"SONIC!" Chris said in surprise.

"What?"

"You-you're normal!"

"Is that inferring that I was abnormal previous?" He said with one eyebrow raised, "What is with this pineapple anyway?" Sonic said as he threw it off his lap, "Itttttttt'ssssss reeeeaaaaallyyyy annnnnooooyyyyiiinnngggggg"

"What just happened to you? You where normal before!" Chris said as his pea brain couldn't figure it out. Everyone stood there for half an hour scratching their chins.

"Hey! I got it!" Chuck finally said and picked up the pineapple.

Sonic saw him coming towards him, then Chuck started touching him with the pineapple and taking it away again repeatedly.

"What arrrrrrrre you doooooing?" Sonic said as he kept jumping from slow to fast.

"Incredible! This pineapple seems to reverse the effects of the gun!" Chuck exclaimed.

"Well, it also touched Cream, Tails and Rouge...nothing happened to them" Chris added. Everyone paused for another half hour to scratch their chins again.

* * *

Back to the sunny stroll...

"CHAOS SPEAR! CHAOS BLAST! CHAOS RIFT!"

"AHHHHHH! WHY IS HE SO ANGRY!" Charmy screamed as they dove behind a tree.

"I DUNNO BUT I REALLY HOPE HE STOPS CHUCKING THOSE THINGS! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TREES!"

All of a sudden Shadow ripped the tree they were hiding behind and chucked it away in anger.

"Err...hi?" Vector said sheepishly.

"Whaaaa-haaaa!" Shadow started crying again. "Me-me, mermumoomawhaa!" He blubbered.

"Err...what's he doing?"

"Oh no! It's some ancient curse! He's going to destroy us!" Charmy squeaked

"No wait! He seems to be...speaking words of some kind!" Vector declared, "Espio! We need your decoding abilities here!"

"Sigh, fine...mm-hmmm...yu-huh...really?...hmmmm..."

"So what's he saying?"

"He said that some Brock guy stole his girlfriend"

"He has a girlfriend?"

"NOT ANY MORE!" Shadow screamed.

"I mean, I just couldn't imagine you with a girlf-" Espio quickly covered Charmy's mouth.

"Charmy, let's not antagonize the angry, very powerful arch enemy" Espio said through gritted teeth.

"ARGGGHHHHHH-AAAAAAAAA!" Shadow started growling and crying at the same time.

"Wow...I never thought I'd see Shadow like this...love certainly does strange things..." Charmy said

"Well now, Shadow ol' buddy, ol' pal" Vector started.

"Sniff, I don't even know you!"

"Yeah, well we better make a good first impression then! We here, are the greatest detective agency the world has ever known, and we are going to help you with your little problem"

"You are?"

"Ya-huh, we have experience in this sought of thing," Vector said in a businesslike manner, "We gots both the smarts and the muscle to teach this little heartbreaker a thing or two!"

"You do?"

"Oh boy" Espio said and rolled his eyes.

"You bet! And all we ask in return is a little..." Vector held out his hand signalling for money, Shadow looked at it and pulled out a chaos spear.

"Err, well we could also use a body guard!"

Shadow continued to stare at him then put the chaos spear away.

"So do we have a deal?"

Shadow looked at his still out stretched hand and shook it.

* * *

"Hey! I got it!" Chuck again exclaimed.

"I'm feeling déjà vu" Knuckles said.

"Knuckles catch!" Chuck said as he chucked a table at him.

"AHHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING-OMPH!" Knuckles yelled as he got squished on the ground.

"Now try and lift up the table"

"DON'T YOU THINK IF I COULD I WOULD?" Knuckles said rather annoyed.

"Now hold this" Chuck said as he gave him the pineapple, "Now lift it"

Knuckles lifted it effortlessly, "Hey! I got my strength back!"

"Ok that'll do" Chuck said and grabbed the pineapple off him, consequently leaving Knuckles to be squashed under the table again. "It seems it only reverses physical abilities, now I must do a full analysis of this" He then put it in a machine which scanned it then he gave it back to an eager Tails, "Ok, the results should come up on my wrist watch in a few minutes"

Just then everyone heard a crash from outside as if a garden statue had been knocked over, along with a lot of yelling, "GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE HEART BREAKER!"

"Err..." Was the natural response from everyone and then they quickly ran outside to find the most absurd scene. Well for a start, the garden was half destroyed, and Team Chaotix (surprise, surprise) seemed to be the cause of all the commotion. Espio seemed to be just waking up after being knocked unconscious, Charmy was egging Vector on, who seemed to be yelling at and strangling some poor, prickly rat thing. Shadow was also there, he was standing in the corner whimpering.

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON OUT HERE?" Grandpa Chuck yelled as he looked at what was left of his front yard.

The Chaotix team froze in their current positions and stared at everyone staring at them.

"Vector! What on Earth are you doing to that poor innocent creature!" Rouge gasped.

"Err...well I can assure you Miss, that this creature is anything but innocent" Vector explained.

"What...did you DO to the lawn?" Chuck exclaimed, not being able to keep it in any longer.

"Err..." Vector looked at his team mates for back-up, but they simply shrugged indicating that he was on his own, "...well...ya see...it's kinda a long story..."

"We've got time to listen" Chuck said with his arms folded and tapping his foot impatiently.

"Ok then...well ya see it started off as just another sunny day..."

* * *

Vector's story

"Vector! You're the greatest, most awesome boss ever! You're so much smarter and braver than me! I wish I was as cool as you!" A goofy looking Charmy with buck teeth said to a really muscular Vector.

"Hey! I don't look like that!" Charmy all of a sudden said, "And since when where you that buff?"

"Since I'M telling the story! Now zip it!"

"Ha ha ha," Vector said in a corny, tough laugh while ruffling Charmy's...er...helmet, "Doesn't everyone? Now fetch me a sandwich! I need to satisfy my hunger before undertaking this super cool mission which we are about to undertake"

"Oh boy! Right away Sir! It'd be an honour to serve your sandwich! May I kiss your feet on the way out?"

"Oh all right, just as a treat"

"Oh boy!"

"WAIT! Wait, wait! I don't remember kissing anyone's feet!" Charmy butted in again.

"Well you mustn't remember right! Now zip it! You can speak later! Now where were we? Ah yes, ahem..."

"Gasp! I see ahead our arch-foe!" Vector exclaimed heroically, "Chameleon boy! Launch attack!"

A scrawny Espio wearing a corny mask and cape swung into action, "On it boss! Time to give this guy a taste of my lizard tail!" He said as he curled and uncurled his tail while the camera quickly zoomed in and out on it multiple times and cool light and sound effects played.

"I...DID NOT DO THAT!" Espio butted in.

"Sure ya did Espio!"

"Since WHEN have you seen me wag my tail around to the batman theme song?"

"Ya know, all the time!"

"WHAT!"

"Can we please get on with the story?" Chris said impatiently.

"Exactly what I was about to say!" Vector replied.

The batman music resumed playing, "Time for my famous, 'Boingo poingo' attack!" 'Espio' said. He curled his tail up like a spring and bounced on his bum towards Shadow. "Boing! Boing!" He boinged extra high so his butt was at Shadow's eye level, "POING!" He uncurled his tail and it 'poinged' Shadow on the nose.

"THAT'S IT! I DO NOT _'poing' _people on the nose!"

"I'M telling the story!"

"Argghhh!" Shadow mindlessly waved his arms around in a pathetic attempt to counter Espio's pathetic attack.

"Good job Chameleon boy! You have distracted him! Now I will go in to defeat him and claim my well deserved glory!"

"You will never defeat me oh great Vector who's the most awesome detective ever! You will die as soon as I have dealt with your pathetic following!"

"You best be not talking about Sonic! Yes, I know it is true that he is not nearly as awesome or good looking as me, but I will not let you kill off the weak and ugly, just because they are less awesome than me! If you where a real villain you would face the mighty Vector! I will die to save my friends!" The buff Vector said then he and Shadow got into an epic kung-fu fight.

* * *

"And so I defeated Shadow and the world was left in eternal gratitude till the very end of time!" Vector finished in a heroic pose with the sun shining behind him.

Everyone just stared at him with their eyebrows raised, "That still doesn't explain what you were doing strangling a hedgehog in my garden!" Grandpa Chuck broke the silence.

"Oh yeah, the mutant beast wrecked havoc through the town and I saved the day again"

"Can I tell MY story now?" Charmy asked.

"YES!" Everyone said together as they still had no idea what Vector had been talking about for the past ten minutes.

"Ok! Well, this is what really happened! It started off as just another sunny day..."

* * *

"Hey Vector, Vector, Vector, Vector" a normal Charmy said to Vector.

"Oh, God Charmy! Quit frazzlin' ma shilazzlin!"

"HEY! Since when did I speak like that?" Vector nosed his way into the story, "What the heck is a shilazzlin anyway?"

"I dunno Vector YOU said it!" Charmy replied with his nose upturned, "Anyway, you had your go! Now I'M telling the story!"

"But Vector, where are we mindlessly wandering to?"

"We're taking a stroll, ya know, like down memory lane except with some more boppin and droppin and a bit more shizazz!"

"But Vector, what does that mean?"

"I dunno bro, but you're really getting up under ma grill, so just patoodle your kanoodle and get out of ma shanoodle!"

"Hey look! Shadow's over there and he looks kinda mad..."

"Oh hell no! That guy takes the sausage out of ma sizzle, the shiz out of my bizzal, and the fizz out of ma twizzle!"

"This looks like a job for...Chameleon boy!" Vector and Charmy finished the last part together.

A scrawny looking Espio appeared in a cape and cardboard mask, "haha snort, Time for my famous, Boingo Poingo attack!"

"HOLD IT! Why in both your stories do I BOINGO POINGO EVERYONE?" Espio said angrily.

"Um, I dunno, maybe cause that's what you did" Charmy said in a dumb voice for Espio then Vector and him started sniggering.

"I DON'T fight with my butt! I turn invisible and-"

"Yeah, yeah Espio, now let them finish" Knuckles said waving Charmy to continue.

"But, but-"

"There's enough butts in the story without your input now continue"

"Boing, Boing...POING!" Espio yet again said and 'boing, boing, poinged' Shadow on the nose.

"Ugh! The smell! Eyes...burning...nostrils...dying...Chameleon farts...too bad!" Shadow said waving his arms around his face.

* * *

"THAT'S IT!" Espio popped Charmy's story bubble, "That's not what happened!"

"Oh contraire, I'd have you find it most truly well did! Then I found all seven chaos emeralds, turned into super Charmy, kicked Shadow's butt, then scattered the emeralds across the world. Of course not before I saved a few innocent children from a burning building, found good homes for all the adorable puppies in the pound, signed a few autographs, and got Vector to make me a sandwich"

"Hey! I didn't make no sandwich!"

Everyone again stared at the three detectives who where now bickering amongst themselves.

"Not to interrupt, but that STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY MY LAWN IN HALF DESTROYED!" Grandpa Chuck said again.

"I might have exploded it when I turned into super awesome Charmy"

"Don't you mean I destroyed it when I defeated Shadow?" Vector butted in.

"Oh just patoodle along to your kanoodle!"

"OK! I AM GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT REALLY HAPPENED!" Espio yelled over the top of them, "It was another sunny day, Vector decided to go for a stroll, and then we ran into Shadow. We thought he was going to kill us except he instead went OOC and threw a tantrum on the ground complaining that some 'Brock guy' stole his girlfriend. So Vector saw this as a money making opportunity...or gaining a valuable ally...or maybe a chance to go to the mansion to see Van-"

"GET ON WITH IT ESPIO!"

"Yeah, so, we came here and found this spiky rat thing and we tried to catch it, except it was kind of hard, so I went invisible and..."

"Ooh! Let me tell this part!" Charmy butted in, "Espio tried to grab it but tripped and bounced on his bum, eventually landing on Brock!"

"Ahahahahaha! That was hilarious!" Vector joined in, "And he was all like, argghhhh! I got hedgehog spines in my butt! And me and Charmy tried to help ya see, but it was kinda hard when we were laughing. Then he turned invisible again and-"

"And all you could see where the spines in his butt running around!" Charmy butted in while Espio groaned in annoyance. Vector and Charmy started rolling around on the ground laughing, which explained all the ripped up turf.

"And-and then, ahahahaha, ahem, then we finally managed to help, so Vector grabbed the hedgie while I went over to Espio, but I couldn't really see him, so I swung a rake around so I could...ya know, find him...but then I accidently hit him and he smashed through the kitchen window, and then that big, scary, cooking lady, hit him out with a saucepan..and that's pretty much when you arrived" Charmy finished then started cracking up again.

"Um, why should we believe this story?"

"Because it explains why we're in your yard...and it's the truth! Tell em Shadow!"

Shadow simply stared at him for a while, "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WHYYYYYYYY! Why...why...whaaaaa-yyyyyyyyy!...I HATE MY LIFE!" Shadow screamed in Charmy's face.

"Nice goin Charmy" Vector grumbled, "We just got him to calm down...er, don't worry Shadow, we caught that dirt bag Brock who's been hittin on your Misty so now we'll make him take his punishment!" Vector said then resumed strangling the hedgehog again.

Everyone continued to stare, completely confused as to who Vector was talking about or even why he was here in the first place. Then Chucks watch started to beep.

"Huh? What's that?" Rouge inquired.

"Ahh, the results from that pineapple are in...incredible!...Amazing!...How could this even happen?"

"HURRY UP AND SPIT IT OUT GRAMPS!" Cream yelled which caused Team Chaotix to stare at her.

"Err...is your mother aware you have anger issues?" Vector said

Cream stormed over and picked him up by the collar and shook him around, "You got something to say YOU BIG GREEN SLIME BALL!"

"Hey! I'd have you know that crocodiles are not slimey!...fluff butt!" Vector said annoyed as he was supposed to be the one issuing the threats around here.

"Oh, SO YOU THINK MY BUTT IS FLUFFY DO YA? WELL WHY DON'T I JUST TELL MY MUM THAT!"

"Ahh! No, no, no! That won't necessary! Cause, I mean, it was a compliment! Aha..yes! I love fluffy butts! Fluffy butts are cool! They're awesome! They're the new black!" Vector stuttered as Cream continued to narrow her eyes.

"HEY EVERYONE!" Rouge screamed out which caused them to look at her, "Knuckie has something to say"

"Knuckie?" Chaotix said in surprise.

"I don't have anything to say Rouge!" He whispered harshly to her.

"Yes you do! I can tell when my boyfriend has something to say!"

"BOYFRIEND?" Chaotix and Knuckles said in shock.

"Since when did this happen?" Charmy said

"Aww man! There goes our money making scheme, I'd already started planning 'Project Knouge' as well"

"PROJECT WHAT?" Knuckles practically screamed, "WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!"

"Sure we are Knuckie!"

"No we're NOT! And quit calling me that!"

"Ahhh! Soo, relationship troubles? I can work with that...for a price of course" Vector said smugly.

"Brother Shadow man, you need to lighten up and just listen to the sweet melody of the Earth. We are all one-" Amy started

"AHHHHHHHHHH! CHAOS-" He screamed at her.

"Eeeeek!" Everyone squealed and dove behind the hedge.

"Not the lawn!" Chuck yelled in vain, but Shadow just stopped and started crying again.

"WHY MISTY! WHY!"

"Err, Chuck, you mind me asking again about the watch?" Rouge decided to break the silence.

"Oh, er, yes! It seems this pineapple is actually a chaos emerald!"

"WHAT?"

"I don't know how it happened but it did!"

"Wait...I think I know..." Amy said.

* * *

FLASHBACK!

(Amy is in her normal state)

"Tails quit slobbering on that Chaos emerald!...It's really gross...and you're getting all pee wee dust on it!"

"Duuh-haaa! It's a pineapple!"

Amy face palmed herself.

END FLASHBACK!

* * *

"Well, that explains something...wait, where is the pineapple, I mean chaos emerald, I mean Chuck Norris, I mean-AUGH! WHERE IS IT?" Chuck yelled in frustration.

"Duuuuuh-haa! Chuck Norris went in the microwave!" Tails exclaimed and everyone opened their eyes wide in shock.

"Chuck...what happens when you put a chaos emerald in the microwave?" Rouge asked.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

* * *

Everyone was covered in black soot from the massive explosion.

"AHHHHHH!" Chuck yelled and started tearing his hair out.

"TAILS WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HOUSE!" Chris screamed while everyone just stared at the burning rubble which was Chris's house, emphasis on the was, as the only thing left standing was the front door.

"House go bye-bye" Tails said simply.

"Err...should we still be here?" Charmy asked Vector.

"Why not? For once it wasn't us who blew something up" He replied.

Just then Bokkuun flew in with an exploding TV, "Dr. Eggman has a message for you!"

"OOH HO HO! I have found an antidote! Want it? Then come get it!"

"ARGHHHH!" Shadow screamed and exploded the TV himself with a chaos spear...along with the front door.

"Err...I'll be going now..." Bokkuun said then flew off as fast as he could go. Chris continued to stare at what was left of his house...which was nothing.

"Ok guys! Let's go get that antidote!" Rouge said then dragged Knuckles off with her. Soon after everyone followed...except Chris, who was still staring at...nothing.

Amy walked up and patted him on the back, "Don't worry, it'll grow back!" She said cheerfully and then skipped after everyone. Chris continued to stare at his house...which was nothing.

* * *

**A/N: Yay! I somehow finished another chapter while I was completely snowed under with school work!...speaking of such, better get back to it...thanks for reading and please leave a review!**

**Review Questions**

**Does Eggman really have the antidote this time?**

**What more could Tails destroy?**

**Will Chris's house ever grow back?**

**All these questions may or may not be answered in the next totally random instalment of The Pee Pee Wee Gun!**


	7. Minivan!

**A/N: Ok, well, this chapter is a lot shorter than the others but, I don't know, I just thought it needed to be on its own. After this I'm thinking only two more chapters then I'll be done. Well thanks again for all the reviews! Wow, over 40 now as well as more than 2000 hits! :D Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: Sega owns the characters, I own the story, but hill-billy Joe is up for adoption.**

**Minivan!**

"The wheels on the bus go round and round! Round and round! Round and round! The wheels on the bus go round and round! All the way to Station Square!" Charmy buzzed. Due to the lack of Sonic's speed, Tail's plane (it **was** inside Chris' house), and all together general intelligence among the group, they had been forced to cram into a minivan as their only option of transportation to get to Station Square, so they could get the antidote, which they weren't even sure Eggman had, so they could turn everyone back to normal...it was going to be a loooong 15 minutes to town.

"The baby on the bus goes whaa whaa whaa! Whaa whaa whaa! Whaa whaa whaa"

"Whaaaaa-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Shadow cried.

"Charmy"

"Yes Vector?" Charmy asked the angry croc at the wheel.

"SHUT UP!"

"SIGH! FINE!" Charmy pouted. Espio just rubbed his eyes whilst attempting to meditate with all the noise, trying hard to retain his composure. Actually, I'm not even sure why Chaotix are on the bus; I think they just wanted to come, oh and they needed Vector to drive. Anyway, it wasn't helping the situation in the slightest it was just making the all ready cramped van more cramped.

"Peace brothers! Peace!" Amy said meditating with Espio...which Espio found kind of annoying, hey; it was 'his thing'.

"Oh my gosh Knuckles, I don't see why we had to bring hippie Joe with us" Rouge whispered.

"Hippie Joe? Great! Don't tell me we picked up another hitch-hiker!"

"No, I'm talking about Amy! She's seriously...er...weird to say the least"

"Well...yeah...but...I thought you were talking about that guy" Knuckles said pointing to some hill-billy that Vector had picked up at the prospect of a few cents.

"Hey yall!" The hill-billy said, "You ma'am are pew-retty!" The hill-billy said to Rouge who in turn slapped him.

"I only have eyes for Knuckles!" Rouge said dreamily, Knuckles just tried to disappear in his seat.

"Duuuh-haa-haaa!" Tails said while pressing his face against the window and making ugly expressions to whatever poor kid happened to pass the minivan. Espio looked disgusted, but he was more concerned about Shadow who was currently bawling his eyes out beside him for who knows what reason this time.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"SHUT IT YA BIG WIMP!" Cream yelled from behind which made him cry even more.

Charmy sucked in a huge gulp full of air, "Nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine bottles hanging on the wall!"

Rouge groaned and pretended to fall asleep on Knuckles' shoulder, who quickly pushed her head away with surprising force.

"Hey Knuckie...I didn't know you where that strong?" Rouge said, "Been working out?" She said feeling his muscles which Knuckles found disturbing.

"Uh, um yeah!" He said a tried to hide the pineapple which he salvaged from the wreckage of Chris' house, behind his back.

"HEY! SPIKEY PRUNES GOT CHUCK NORRIS!" Tails yelled.

"Hey! Who ya calling a spiky prune?" Knuckles said in annoyance, unaware that he just blew his cover.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Misty loved prunes!" Shadow started bawling on Espio who patted his back in annoyance, clearly wondering why he had to share his seat with the ultimate cry baby.

"My Knuckie would never steal! Especially not that dumb pineapple that we spent two hours looking for in the wreckage of Chris' house before we left" Rouge said, "Isn't that right Knuckles?"

"Err, um, yeah!" He said nervously, well hey! It wasn't fair, if they found it then they'd give it to Sonic because just soooo awesome. Knuckles rolled his eyes at these thoughts.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEY" Sonic said in slow mo, it was now that Knuckles realized he was voicing his thoughts aloud.

"Knuckles, is this true?" Rouge said with a saddened look.

"Well, um...err"

"Cool a pineapple!" Charmy said looking at it, Sonic made a slow motion grab for it...which obviously failed.

"I am a bee! A buzzing bee! Buzz buzz!" Amy said said while flapped her hands.

"No you're not!" Charmy looked offended, he did not 'buzz' around like...like that! "This is how you do it!" He said buzzing his wings which kept hitting Cream in the face.

"ARGHHHHHH! YOU'RE ASKING FOR IT NOW BUMBLE!" She said as she made a grab for him. Charmy squeaked and threw the pineapple in self defence, which hit Shadow, who took it personally and started explaining his life story to Espio and why everyone hated him so much.

"Don't make me come back there!" Vector yelled from the front. The noise immediately hushed to a whisper until hill billy Joe decided to speak up.

"Hey! Would ya'll like to hear a song?" The hill-billy hitch-hiker asked then got out his banjo without waiting for a reply, "Ooooh! If it hadn't been for cotton-eyed Joe, I'd been married a long time ago! Where'd you come from, where'd you go? Where'd you come from cotton-eyed Joe!"

"Knuckles how could you!" Rouge wailed, "You can't steal! That's..that's...totally horrible and mean! And to think I loved you!" Rouge said then covered her mouth in a dramatic way and pretended to look shocked at what she said. Knuckles simply rolled his eyes.

"You stole Chuck Norris!" Tails said pointing a finger at him.

"GIIIIIIIIIIVE IIIIIT BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" Sonic said and slowly unbuckled his seatbelt.

"And I remember when I was, sniff, standing on the ark, looking out the window with..with...MARIA!" Shadow kept bawling on Espio who felt like yelling out that he was a ninja not a counsellor.

"Ok Knuckles! Now you know! Yes, I love you!" Rouge said in a dramatic way while Knuckles tried to ignore her.

"You stole Chuck Norris!"

"Lotus flower! Extend your leaves! Purity! I am pure!" Amy said while doing some Yoga in the cramped van. One of her legs pushed the pineapple oh so conveniently in Sonic's directing who went slowly to pick it up. Knuckles saw this so got up and tried to grab it, but before he did but Tails got in his way.

"YOU STOLE CHUCK NORRIS!"

"Ugh! Let me through!"

"KNUCKLES, Does the bee get pulverised or chucked out the window? PULVERISED! SAY PULVERISED! SAY YES TO PULVERISATION!" Cream yelled as she held a terrified Charmy.

"Err..." Knuckles didn't want to get 'pulverised' himself, but Sonic was getting really close to the Emerald pineapple now.

"SAY YES!"

"Are you a lotus flower? Do you live like a lotus flower? Will you be the lotus flower with me?" Amy asked

"Um!" Knuckles said trying to push his way to the back of the bus.

"Knuckles! Ok, I told you! But...Do you love me?" Rouge said with puppy dog eyes.

"SAY YES! PULVERISATION! PULVERISATION!"

"Are you a lotus flower? Lotus flower?"

"Knuckie?"

"PULVERISATION!"

"Uhh...yes?" Knuckles said, Cream laughed evily, Charmy gulped, Amy started doing a hippie dance and Rouge started to get teary eyed with happiness. Knuckles still had no idea what he said yes to but he smirked an evil smirk as he reached out to snatch the pineapple from Sonic who had almost grabbed it. "Ha ha ha! Nothing can stop me n-mmmmmmmph!" Knuckles was caught by COMPLETE surprise as Rouge pounced on him from the other side of the bus and kissed him square on the lips.

"YES!" Sonic cheered as he finally grabbed it, "Ha! In your face...Knuckles?...WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"

"PULVERISATION!" Cream broke everything up as she chased Charmy round the bus which shook the whole vehicle.

"AHHHHH!"

"Yeah, feel the love brother!" Amy said then resumed her 'buzzing bee'.

"I don't buzz like that!" Charmy said annoyed while running for his life.

Knuckles was completely frozen, as stiff as a board on the ground while Rouge was just looking at him, wondering what could have made him like this.

"If it hadn't been for Cotton-eyed Joe!" The hill-billy continued to sing.

"Buzz, buzz, I am a buzzing bee!"

"Chuck Norris? CHUCK NORRIS!" Tails started wrestling Sonic for the pineapple.

"Nooo! Tails buddy! Let go!"

"Where'd you come from where'd you go?"

"PULVERIZATION!"

"Vector help me!" Charmy cried.

"MAARIA!" Shadow cried

"Vector..help me" Espio said.

"Knuckie?...Are you ok?"

"Vector help me!"

"Argghh! Tails let go! Vector HELP!" Sonic said. Vector's eye started twitching.

"Buzz, buzz"

"Where'd you come from cotton-eyed Joe!"

"PULVERISATION!"

"buuzzzzzzz"

"Whaaa-haaaaa! Maria!"

"Vector!"

"Tails let go!"

"Vector?"

"Where'd you come from, where'd you go!"

"Ve-e-eeeeectoooor!"

"Knuckie?"

"Vectoooooor!"

"YOU'RE GOING TO GET CREAMED!"

"VECTOR!"

"Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

"ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" Vector yelled and slammed on the breaks which made everyone jolt forward, then he turned around viciously, "You just made me come back THERE!"

Everyone immediately went silent and gulped.

"NOW IF I HEAR ONE MORE PEEP OUTTA YOU! OUTTA ANY OF YOU! THEN I'M GOING TO STOP THIS CAR AND MAKE YOU WALK THE REST OF THE WAY!"

"No!" They all murmured. Walking was hard! True, Sonic could now run there if he wanted to, but running down the streets holding a pineapple was completely lame, everyone would think he's been...eugh...grocery shopping or something.

"SO AMY QUIT BUZZING! SONIC AND TAILS I WANT YOU TWO SEPERATED! CHARMY QUIT SINGING! CREAM MAKE A DECISION WHETHER YOU'RE GONNA PULVERSISE OR NOT, JUST QUIT YELLING IT OUT! SHADOW PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER! ESPIO STOP ACTING SO CALM! AND KNUCKLES AND ROUGE QUIT MAKING OUT!"

Knuckles choked at this last sentence, "We-we WEREN'T!"

"Yes they where I saw them!" Charmy said being a little tattle tale.

"NO WE WEREN'T!"

"Yes you where!"

"Can we have peace? Let's all take a few nice, deep breaths..." Amy sighed.

"I DON'T WANT TO!" Shadow screamed in her face.

"Hey Knuckles" Rouge said grabbing his hand. Knuckles was blushing like crazy and was still recovering from the previous...incident.

"OK! THAT'S IT! EVERYONE GETS NEW BUS BUDDIES!" Vector yelled which was met by an 'aww' from half of the bus. "Charmy you're with Shadow"

"What? No!"

"WHAAAAAAAA! EVERYONE HATES ME!"

"Aww man!" Charmy slumped over there.

"Cream you're with Espio" Cream grunted over to Espio's seat who gulped.

"Tails you're with Rouge!"

"Awww, but!" Rouge tried to argue in vain as dummy Tails took Knuckles' seat.

"Knuckles you're with Sonic!" Knuckles stumbled over to his seat, still red...well redder than he usually is. Sonic smirked and started making kissy faces which didn't help in the slightest, it only made Knuckles stack and face plant into the chair.

"Amy you're with...um...hill-billy Joe"

"Please! Call me cow lick!"

Amy ran over and sat gleefully next to him, "Hey Brother!"

"Humph, don't know what she's so happy about" Sonic muttered under his breath. Knuckles made kissy faces at him which caused the two to get in a sissy slap fight...which Knuckles was obviously losing.

"On second thought, Knuckles go with Amy and Sonic you're with...er...cowlick"

"WHAT?" Sonic said in frustration as the hill billy got comfortable next to him.

"Hey, would yall like to hear a song?"

"No"

"Ok then! Oooooh! If it hadn't been for cotton eyed Joe"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sonic's yell could be heard outside on the street as the minivan disappeared up the road.

* * *

**A/N: Ooh well, Vector seems a little mad, Shadow seems a little sad but Sonic's found a loop hole and is back to normal, talk about unfair! **

**Review Questions:**

**Will Vector stop the car and make everyone walk? O:**

**Will Knuckles ever fully recover? D:**

**Will Charmy get pulverised? (:**

**Thanks for reading! Next chappie will be longer! Oh, and if you have time could you go to my profile and vote in my poll? Which character transformation do you find the most entertaining! Thanks :D**


	8. The Skid Mark

**A/N: Hello anyone out there who is still reading this story! A big thanks to sticking around for so long and a big welcome to any new comers! Sorry bout taking sooo long to update! First I had massive writers block, then exam block, then an iceblock, then I got so lazy! Shame! I was kinda thinking of ditching this story, I thought I could do alot better, but reading over your reviews and not to mention Jazzy being constantly on my back XD I decided to do as I promise and finish what I started. But hey! It's not even finished yet, probably one more chappy after this. Gosh I didn't expect it to be this long!**

**I'd like to say thank you for all the reviews, this has by far been my most popular story. This chapter is dedicated to anyone who's stuck by it, especially Jazzy, for pressuring me to update XD and ****Sonic Fan42, their review really made me decide to keep going. So thanks. Well, enough time wasted here! On with the story...**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Sega...that is...if Sega actually wants them right now**

The Skid Mark

A shabby minivan came to an abrupt halt in the destroyed city centre of Station Square. Eggman sat, tightly squished in his egg-mobile ship thing, in an expectant manner as the van door started to slide open. He grinned evilly and began his rehearsed speech.

"Ahh, Sonic the hedgehog and friends! I've been expecting you! Not so skilled now are we? I have a surprise for you! There is no antidote but-...wait...YOU'RE NOT SONIC!" Eggman growled in astonishment.

"Hi there! I be cow lick, but as them folks at home be callin me, ya'll can just call me hill-billy Joe!" The hillbilly said and pulled his pants up a little higher.

"What?...WHAT IS THIS?"

Vector strolled casually out of the front seat and locked the van with his automatic key. He then proceeded to lean upon the bonnet before he noticed Eggman staring at him with a 'What the heck?' look on his face. "Oh, yeah, well Sonic and the rest of 'em where being difficult on the way over so I made 'em get out and walk if they wanted any chance of a lift home. I only dropped 'em off at the last curb so they should be here in a minute or so." The croc finished then proceeded to put on his headphones and play some tunes to himself.

Eggman kept staring, this was rather annoying. "...difficult?"

"Yeah, all of 'em arguin'! Really gets to ya!"

"Oh, yes I know all about that kind of thing. Teenagers are such a hassle"

"Tell me about it, I am dreadin' the day when Charmy hit's 13"

"hmmmm..." Eggman said for nothing better to say then the two commenced to sit in silence for a while. Then they both turned as they heard some voices in the distance.

"Mwa mwa mwa! Come on 'Knuckie' give her a kiss!"

"Shut UP SONIC!"

"Rouge and Knuckles sittin in a tree!"

"Duuuh, K-I-S-S...um...T-N-T!"

"hahahahha!"

"I MEAN IT CHARMY!"

"I think he needs to be taught a lesson! Time to get CREAMED!"

"Ahhh no! No thankyou"

"Too late, Knuckles already said yes to pulverisation!"

"no that's..NO! OW! AHH! THE PAIN! ARGH!"

"Looking a little flustered Knuckles, hehehehe"

"SHUT UP!"

Vector and Eggman exchanged glances, "I assume that-"

"Yeah that'll be them" Vector replied as Sonic and the gang slowly made it around the corner into view. Knuckles was beetroot red in the middle and they all seemed to be teasing him except Rouge who was smiling an extra big smile, and Espio who was started to get irritated by Shadow crying about...something, he hadn't bothered to ask what it was this time.

Eggman cleared his throat and began his speech again, "Ahh, Sonic the hedgehog and friends! I've been expecting you! Not so skilled now are we? I have a surprise for you! There is no antidote but I still have a-"

"NO ANTIDOTE?" The gang yelled at once.

"You mean...I spent...fifteen whole minutes in that minivan...with THEM...for NO REASON AT ALL?" Everyone was surprised when Espio spoke out, he'd remained quiet the whole trip so far.

"...GET HIM!" Cream declared and everyone went full charge at the egg shaped scientist.

"AHHHHH! NO WAIT!" Eggman yelled and everyone paused just as he was about to get pulverised, "I have something else!"

"well, what is it?" Sonic asked, still frozen in his fighting position.

"Well since you obviously can't stop me this time, I'll tell you. I have made a BRILLIANT new gun! It is called...the Switch and/or keep individual's deformities Mark 1 egg gun...or the S.K.I.D mark 1 egg gun for short.

"How is that any shorter? I vote we call it the Skid mark" Sonic said

"I second that motion" Charmy buzzed

"It is not called, the SKIDMARK. It is too brilliant for that name...AHA!" Eggman declared, pulling a gun out from his back pants pocket, this one was a decent size but had a ridiculously lame egg logo on it, "How do you like that, ooh ho ho ho!"

"...pft...pft...WHA HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!" Sonic cracked up

"hm?...What's so funny?"

"pft...HAHA!...Eggman's got a skid mark in the back of his pants!"

'WHA HAHAHAHHAHAHHAAA!" Everyone else cracked up as well

"Grr! That's it! I'm not telling you my plan any more!"

"Oh, come on! It was just a joke! Pft..."

"Yeah, laugh hedgehog! What's with the pineapple, been grocery shopping?" Eggman mocked in an annoyed tone and pointed to the pineapple Sonic was holding.

"Oh, this is actually a chaos emerald because, I wouldn't just carry round a pineapple, I mean, that would be completely lame and if there is one thing Sonic the Hedgehog isn't, it's lame!" Sonic said proudly.

"Chaos emerald eh? Whoop!" Eggman said then pressed a button on his ship so a hand came out and 'popped' the pineapple out from under Sonic's arm, "hehehe"

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! Noooooooooo faaaaaaaiiiir!"

"Sonic, seriously, that was really stupid" Rouge said.

"Now, back to what I was saying! Making antidotes is hard, very hard! So, like the evil genius I am, I opted for the easier, cheaper solution!"

"Which is?" Everyone asked.

"Well, I don't really need Shadow back to complete normal...and I don't need to change any of you fools at all. You see, some of you have been blessed by my Pee Pee Wee gun and I thought, why not give that power to Shadow?"

"What are you talking about?"

"WHY ARE THERE SO MANY COLOURS? Whaaaaaaa whyyyyyyyy! Why do they hate me!" Shadow fell to the ground bawling after Rouge had bent over in Amy's too-short dress, and he saw her multi-coloured knickers.

"...ok, I'm going to cut to the chase and say it's time for the ol' switcheroo! Cream's strength with Shadow's powers would make for the ultimate, ultimate life form, so that's just what I'm going to do. True, Cream will end up like a moody teenager but hey, not my problem!" Eggman chuckled as he attached the pineapple to the gun.

"...nooooooooooo, heeee's putttttting a skiiid maaark ooon iiit!" Sonic said in slow mo

"pft! Hahahahhaha!" Everyone cracked up again and Eggman growled in irritation that no one was taking his scheme seriously.

"Ugh! I've had enough of this! You're going to get creamed Eggman!" Cream yelled, tensing her muscles then advancing towards him.

"ahh, yes, Cream. Just the girl I wanted to see...just imagine SHADOW with that strength! Why he'd be...he'd be...the ultimate ultimatum! The piece de resistance! The - HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" He yelled as she started smashing up his ship.

"CREAM SMASH!" She grunted and kept smashing.

"No! Stop! Quit it! You're-oh! Oh, ooooh! Just look at tha-oh! No, don't, augh!"

Cream didn't care and kept smashing

"GRRR! That's it! These bullets rebound by the way!" Eggman snarled and fired at Cream, but since the gun had 'bouncy bullets' it rebounded off her and went in all random directions, excluding the ones where Shadow was standing.

"...ahhh!" Everyone ducked for cover as it came flying their way

"...wait a second...why am I ducking? That thing could give me my strength back!" Knuckles said

"Or it could turn me super buff!" Charmy smiled

"Hey! That bullet is reserved for me!" Vector snapped and in no time everyone was chasing it.

"No! Shadow! Get after that bullet!" Eggman directed

"I'll shoot myself thank you very much! I don't need someone ELSE to do it FOR ME!" He screamed

"..." Eggman face palmed, now recognising the very obvious flaw in his plan.

The bullet rebounded a few more times before hitting Cream again, "OMPH!...EGGMAN YOU WILL PAY!" She yelled.

"Darn it, missed" Eggman said annoyed and pointed 'the skid mark' at her again.

Cream snarled and got ready to brace for impact but then Amy jumped in front of her, "NOOOOO! PEACE! PEAC-AHHHHH!" she yelled as the bullet rebounded off her and hit Shadow, then rebounded off him and hit her.

"aaaaaaaaammmmmyyyy!" Sonic said in slow mo.

"ARGH! Why did you have to get in the way?" Eggman grumbled and reloaded his gun to fire again.

Shadow was the first to regain consciousness, "...sigh, isn't this a wonderful world that we live in? I love you! And I love you! And you! And you!" Shadow said pointing each and every one of Sonic and his friends.

"...scaaaaaaary" Sonic said.

"WHAAAAAAAAAA! WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME SONIC?" Amy woke up and started bawling, "I can't go ooon! Whaaaaaaa!" Just then Rouge bent over again, "...WHY ARE THERE SO MANY COLOURS? WHYYYYY! I HATE MY LIFE!"

"...chaaaaaaange heeeeeeer baaaaaaack!" Sonic said, finding it hard to believe that Amy was better in her previous state.

"La la la, and I love you! And you!" Shadow said throwing flower petals up in the air and giving Eggman a big hug.

"ANYTHING BUT THIS!" Eggman said and randomly fired his gun again which rebounded between Tails and Shadow.

"Ow!" Tails got up, "...oooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!" He started meditating.

"...duuuuuh! haaaa! I made a chaos spear!" Shadow said smiling with himself and he started juggling it then he accidently dropped in on some randoms house which blew up, "duuuuh, Whoopsie". Everyone just stared in complete shock and fear at the ultimate dummy with ultimate power...worst ever combination! Eggman seemed to realize this too as he quickly got ready to fire again.

"Um everyone...I think we should...RUN!" Rouge called and everyone started bolting until... "OW!...duuuuuh-haaaa!" Rouge laughed and then started eating her lipstick, "mmm, cherry flavoured!"

"EGGMAN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER!" Knuckles yelled in rage.

"Sorry to take away your girlfriend but there is nothing worse than a stupid minion with unspeakable power" Eggman smirked.

"She-she's not my!"

"yeah, yeah" Eggman growled then started madly firing his gun.

"AHHH!" Everyone screamed

"...KNUCKIE!" Cream squealed with joy.

"Aww man! I get Cream chasing me everywhere instead of Rouge? Things cannot possibly get any worse!" Knuckles exclaimed when Cream got hit but a different bullet.

"...WHAAAA! I HATE MY LIFE!"

"ha ha! Yes!" Knuckles cheered, "Wonder who the next lucky girl who gets hit by that will be" he smirked to himself then Shadow got hit.

"...Knuckie!"

'...AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Knuckles screamed, "NO! MUCH WORSE! MUCH WORSE!"

"Why doesn't Sonic love meeeeeee-whaaaaaaaa-haaaaaaa!" Amy started bawling on Espio's shoulder. Obviously, Espio was very, very annoyed, "Why are you WEARING MY CLOTHES? WHAAAAAAA!" She cried at Rouge.

"Duuh-haaaaa! These clothes are comfy!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"EGGMAN! I MAY BE WEAK BUT I CAN STILL...uh...outsmart you!" Knuckles yelled.

Eggman sighed in irritation, "Yes, sure you can, now Shadow, DESTROY HIM!"

"...But I can't!"

"Why NOT?"

"Because...(dramatic pause) I LOVE HIM!" Shadow squealed and everyone was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very (Insert 200 more very's) disturbed! Especially Knuckles.

"...AHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed and ran as fast as he could away from Shadow, who caught up to him in about 2.1 milliseconds and gave him a big hug. "THE HORROR!"

"...I was wrong...much worse...MUCH WORSE!" Eggman shuddered and fired desperately to change Shadow into anything but...that!

"OW!" they both said.

Shadow realized that he was...HUGGING KNUCKLES! And frankly...frankly he couldn't describe the horror in any language, there were a few words which could come close to describing the pure terror but these words would not be allowed in a K rated fiction.

"Err..." Was all Knuckles could saw.

"EGGMAN!" Shadow screamed immediately blaming him.

"Um...now, now Shadow, I'll find a way to change you! He he...Um...come on! Come on!" Eggman said madly fiddling with his gun.

"CHAOS SPEAR!" he yelled...seriously, Shadow wanted to kill himself right now, the memories where coming back...the painful memories...why did he have to remember these most humiliating moments but forget everything else? Eggman put his hands in front of his face as he got hit with...a chaos...spear?...More like a ping pong ball. Shadow cursed himself having Knuckles stupid disability and didn't fire anymore due to pure humiliation.

"haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Sonic pointed and laughed at him.

"Wait...what happened to knuckles?" Charmy asked (yup, Chaotix are still here)

Knuckles slowly got up, "like LOL, Sonic did you just see that? OMG it was hilarious!"

"Great he's gone girly"

Knuckles smiled and glanced at the ground, catching his reflection in a puddle of water, "...wha-...whoa!...wow...I am so HOT!" he sighed in amazement.

"ARGHHHH!" Eggman growled in annoyance and then went crazy with his gun, ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! He fired repeatedly in any direction just wanting to get Shadow normalish, ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!

"He's gone MAD! RUN!" Charmy squeaked and some way or another they got everyone to run from the battle field and back into, yup, you guessed it, the minivan!

"COME ON KNUCKLES WE GOTTA GO!" Charmy yelled, running past then stopped, "...Knuckles?...hello?" Charmy said waving his hand in front of his face.

"Hey! Quit that!" Knuckles said and continued to stare at his reflection in the puddle, "heeey good lookin! Who's handsome? That's right, I am!" Knuckles said dreamily and continued to stare.

"argh!" he groaned just as another wave of blasts come from Eggman's gun.

"AHH! GET IN!" Charmy cried and shoved everyone in the van.

* * *

"Ok, so, um, what's the plan?" Vector said as he plugged the keys in the ignition and hit the accelerator.

"THAT'S WHAT WE USUALLY ASK YOU!" Charmy said, quite panicked. Everyone in the van was in a daze by being hit by the gun so many times and he had no idea who had what disability.

"Oh, um, yeah, well...um, the plan is...to drive away from this mad man and his emotional teenage hedgehog and then...think of a plan!"

"And how'd you suppose we do that Vector?" Charmy whined.

"Well...um...we could start by seeing what power everyone actually has-"

"PEDESTRIAN!" Charmy yelled out and Vector quickly swerved to the side.

"But you can do that just NO DISTRACTING THE DRIVER IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!" He growled and continued driving down the street at 120km/h in a 60km/h zone.

"Um, ok then...well, let's start with Tails. Please tell me you're normal so you can think of a plan!" Charmy pleaded.

"...I am going to BEAT. EGGMAN...TO A PUUUUULP!" Tails yelled in rage and Charmy hid behind a chair.

"...Ok...um...Amy...what happened to you?"

"Nothing! I'm perfectly fine!" Amy said happily.

"No, there must be something wrong with you" Charmy said and thought for a while.

"WHAT'S THAT IMPLYING?" She said and took out her giant hammer and started beating him up.

"AHHH! NO! VECTOR HELP!"

"KINDA BUSY HERE CHARM-" Vector started when everyone heard an 'OW!' from outside, "...sorry!..."

"uh! Ok! Ok! You're fine Amy...hmmm...Knuckles, what about you?"

"Oh Knuckles, my one truuuue looove" Amy sighed.

"...WHAT?" Sonic yelled from the back of the bus and everyone turned around to look at him, "...uh...well...I mean...I'M YOU'RE ONE TRUE LOVE!"

Amy wrinkled up her nose at him, "...pft, yeah you wish." She said and everyone snickered at him

"no..uh...whatever, I don't care" he said then glared at Knuckles.

"...speaking of Knuckles..." Charmy turned around to look at him.

"oooooooooooooooooom"

"...great"

"Sigh...Knuckles...will you marry me?" Amy asked

"Don't see why not babe" Knuckles said while meditating

"Squeeee!"

"PFT-WHAT?" Sonic yelled then...took a breath and started meditating.

"What? Two hippies?...okaaaay...I'm still not seeing any plans here Vector! They're even more useless than before!"

"Who ya callin useless BUMBLE?" Tails growled.

"Oh no...not again!" Charmy cried, then proceeded to fly around the bus from Tails when they bumped into Cream.

"...WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I HATE YOU!" Cream screamed

"Great, now she's even more hopeless then before" Vector growled from the front.

"Well that must mean Sonic's either slow again... or dumb" Charmy sighed and looked over at him.

"No I'm not!" Sonic said offended while munching on a packet of crisps.

"...But...how?...you sure you're not weak?"

"Well I opened this air-tight sealed packet of crisps didn't I?"

"That's harder than it looks" Charmy pointed out, "...and you're not hippie?"

"Nope"

"You sure you aren't holding the pineapple emerald or something?"

"Nope!"

"Ok, this is really weird!...wait...what are you eating?...Are those...ESPIO'S CRUNCHIES?"

Sonic looked at the packet and shrugged, "hmm, I guess so"

"First of all, how can you eat them they taste disgusting! Espio's the only one who likes them, secondly, ESPIO WILL BE REALLY MAD IF HE SEES YOU EATING THOSE!" Charmy freaked out.

"...I can't help it! They just taste so good!" Sonic said then pulled out another packet and opened it with a ninja star.

"...where did you get that?"

"...You know, I'm not really sure" Sonic said and continued eating the crunchies.

"Espio, what do you have to say about this?"

"I like ponies!"

"...what?" Charmy stared at the Chameleon.

"Whoo hoo! Giddiup! Giddiup! Giddiup!" Espio said jumping on top of Charmy and trying to ride him like a horse.

"Uhh...Vector? I think we have a problem..."

"What NOW?"

"um...I think Espio got mixed up in all the zapping as well.."

"WHAT?"

"yeah...he's kinda acting dumb and Sonic is kinda acting like him in some ways..."

"OH WELL THIS IS JUST-...excellent! Charmy I have a plan!" Vector grinned.

**A/N: Phew, chapter finished! Kinda helps being on a two month Christmas break right now :D **

**Review Questions**

**Ooh, what is Vector's plan? **

**Will it most likely fail? (probably)**

**Was this chapter the most OOC thing you've ever read? (most likely)**

**Did I take way too long to update? (DEFINITLEY!)**

**Sorry again for the very late update! But I promise you now that I. Will. Finish...THIS STORY!**


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